Seattle resident, James Burns, wants Weezer to break up and never make music again. He wants this so badly, in fact, that he has started a campaign to raise $10 million to offer Weezer as incentive to quit. We have to admit, Weezer hasn't been good since the mid-90s. But, to Weezer's credit, those two albums (The Blue Album & Pinkerton) were really really really amazing records. Burns even admits that he isn't a Weezer fan and never has been. He is doing this simply out of kindness for all the Weezer fans out there. He says, "This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now. I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year." It's true, Weezer is like a constantly disappointing boyfriend. There have been too many unforgivable offenses and the love affair is long over. We wouldn't mind if they stopped making music so we could reminisce about the good ol' days in peace. more ›

The weirdest thing on the news last night with the least amount of airtime, thanks to the Sounders game (which was fun to watch, and we won 3-0, but moving on), was the stand-off down in Federal Way between a SWAT team and some guys accused of assaulting someone with a live electric cattle prod. The stand-off ended when the cops blew up the door of the guys' house with explosives. A cattle prod? Guess during a recession you're forced to get creative with your assault weapons. more ›

A local man who wishes to remain anonymous was violently assaulted by a Starburst candy in downtown Seattle Monday evening. "I was just heading home from work and bam! I felt a sharp pain in the shoulder," the victim said. "I looked down and there it was. A Starburst candy. The pink kind. I don't remember what flavor pink is--strawberry or something--but it hurt!" When asked if the victim had a message for the assailant, he said, "Yeah. If you catch him, tell him he's an a**hole. Those things are hard. And pointy." more ›

There has been several flavors of WTF news from all over today. You have your tragic WTF news, the duh WTF news, and the just truly head-scratching WTF news. Behold: more ›

Because we might have taken a bullet to the chest. more ›