This Seattlest is not the most baseball-crazed tool in the shed, but we had a damn good time at last night's Mariners vs. Red Sox game. It started out with the Mariners up by three, until Manny Ramirez clocked a homer for the Sox and evened out the scoreboard. The tie held fast for the last few innings until Jose Lopez's nailbiting hit straight toward third base—at the bottom of the ninth—drove the winning......

Swear to God we’ve never seen a mascot more pissed off. It was Saturday night and Seattlest had decided to check out the Mariners play the White Sox at Safeco Field. Eventually, the time came where Seattle could no longer resist the temptation of dropping $11 bucks on a bag of peanuts and a MGD, so we got up from our seats and headed down to the nearest food stand. Low and behold, Seattle......

Vitals: 22 yo LHP. Born in Austin, TX. 6-1, 200. 0-3, 5.32 career and 2007 (he's a rookie). Acquired via trade from Texas (Brandon McCarthy) before this season. $380,000 salary. Arsenal: Same was Barry Zito's. He's got a 88-91 fastball, a 80 mph change that he appears to locate well (and likes to use with two strikes) and a big looping curve--which, from what I've seen, isn't as big and looping as Zito's is. Recent......

Vitals: 30 yo RHP. Born in Ponce, Puerto Rico. 6-1, 210. 102-105, 4.34 career. 2-0, 3.75 this year. Acquired via trade in 2005. $13 million salary. Arsenal: Four pitches. A fastball from 89-94, a slider, a curve that he throws mostly against RHB, and a splitter that he throws lots against LHB (especially when he's behind in count). Recent Battles: Vazquez stymied the M's in two starts last season...well, 1.9 starts. In a must-win game......

The Seahawks and Bears have never met in the playoffs, however, Seattle teams have danced with the Windy City's finest in the postseason. Huskies beat Illinois in the Second Round of the 2006 NCAA Tournament. Although he is now spending more time on the bench, Justin Dentmon's four point play gave the Huskies a huge momentum boost when it looked like the Illini might turn away Brandon Roy's second half comeback. Mariners swept the White......

Sometimes you earn a win, and sometimes the other team gives you one. Here are the all-time screw-ups by opponents that helped Seattle teams win big games. 1) Tony Romo We've pretty much covered this, and it's got to be #1. 2) Jim Sweeney and the 1975 Apple Cup Up 27-14 with 3:01 left and the ball deep in Husky territory, the Cougar coach let his players talk him into passing for a touchdown. The......

According to the official rules, when a baseball team forfeits a game, the score is recorded thusly: the forfeitting team gets zero runs, the opponents gets as many runs as there were innings. In the case of most games, 9-0. So it was fitting that, in the game that surely sealed their non-pennant-winning fate, in the middle of a September freefall, Editor Dan's beloved White Sox lost 9-0 to the Mariners yesterday. Little Jake Woods......

Ken "Hawk" Harrelson, the White Sox announcer (and former GM), has a blog that Deadspin linked to today. In recent post, Harrelson contrasts the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants style of Sox manager Ozzie Guillen with the style of other managers. It rung a bell for us. Ozzie doesn't try to manage a game to cover his behind and that's what too many managers do. There are managers out there that have no more business managing a ball club......

It's Mother's Day weekend. Some people say we should remember our mothers all year-round, not just on a single day. But we do! With yo momma jokes! Seattlest contributors share their favorites, along with their plans for enforced family togetherness. Don always thinks of Norman Bates on Mother's Day. But that aside, when the mother in his home is not out siphoning the neighbor's gas tanks, she wants to bond with Mothers Earth and Nature.......

Daylight savings time either starts or ends on Sunday, which means that you either get or lose an hour! What are you going to do or not do with it? Here's our plans... Donte is saving up his energy for Alpacapalooza this weekend. Sure, he'll be attending Rithma at Trinity on Friday, and DJ Minx on Saturday at the Baltic Room, but Alpacapalooza (and the high potential for funnel cake) is what has him really......

We'd like to say that this year's crop of commercials might be the most entertaining thing about this Mariners season, but we've seen the commercials. It won't be all bad, though - The White Sox are coming through in April, right?......

Something tells us that the world-beating, intense Ichiro who disliked his relaxed 2005 clubhouse is going to be none-too-pleased when he finally arrives in Peoria. Mariners spring camp has morphed into late 70s summer camp, with closer Eddie "Giggles" Guardado as the wacky camp counselor. In the past few days, Guardado's masterminded lighting Jose Lopez' shoes on fire, showering Kenji Johjima with garbage, and taunting Cuban shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt after his homeland lost the WBC.......

Turns out that a low-fat diet doesn't reduce your risk of getting cancer or heart disease. Thank you, thank you, thank you, medical science. Cheer over your spilled skim milk and then make haste to the following former danger zones: Cave Man Kitchens: Melt-in-your-mouth barbeque that's worth the drive to Kent. This is the very barbeque that the Chicago White Sox ate after clinching the 1983 AL West division crown at the Kingdome, and at......

One week after pissing off fans of evolution and above-average DH production by signing Carl Everett, the Mariners agreed to pay Jarrod (rhymes with "Herod") Washburn $36 million for his unique brand of stultifyingly mediocre pitching. And the masses are in revolt. Art Thiel, writing in the Seattle P-I, says that the M's overpaid for Washburn. This is true. As Thiel points out, mediocre Washburn will make more than White Sox ace Freddy Garcia. At......

Freddy pitched seven scoreless innings for the Chicago White Sox to help bring the first World Series Championship to the Southside since 1917 in his first full season with the team. Hoopty horns blared, pipe bombs and meth labs detonated and fans went wild on the south side of Chicago and in a very localized area of north Seattle (today to be known as Chicago's far far far northwest side). Seattlest has been a......

If your local sausage merchant, empanada slinger or Seattlest editor seems to have an extra bop in his bop sh'bop sh'bop today, it's because the Chicago White Sox won the World Series last night. This Series victory, the Chi-Sox first since 1917, brings joy not only to South Siders (of which Editor Dan is one) but also to Venezuelans. Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is a native of that country, and pinko commie President Hugo Chavez......

Last night, Alex Rodriguez, Seattle's most-hated former P-I Sports Star of the Year, came to the plate in the 9th inning of the Yankees' must-win game against the Angels. Derek Jeter, the anti A-Rod, had singled to lead off the inning. "What if he grounded into a double play," we asked our roommate. "Wouldn't that be perfect?" His eyes grew like a Las Vegas phone book, then he cursed us for potentially jinxing the moment.......

It’s not the best time to be a Seattle sports fan right now. Sure the Sonics were able to re-sign Vladimir Radmanovic for the upcoming season. However, we are a bit worried that he turned down six years $42 million in order to be an un-restricted free agent at the end of next season, but right now we will take what we can get. With the Mariners limping towards the end, the Huskies heading towards......

These questions were submitted by clairvoyant readers. Q: Did Seattlest James have a baby yesterday? A: Yes--he did! Well, his wife did. If he had had the baby, you would be hearing about it on "A Current Affair," not here. The baby is a girl. Q: Did James and his wife name the baby yet? A: No. But when they name her, you will hear it here first. (Unless they name her "Rita Katrina,"......

Ever wish you'd watched a Nirvana show before Bleach came out? Or sipped wine at Keith Haring's first gallery show? Or seen Karl Rove eat his first donut? Even if you aren't a fan of music, art, or obesity, it's hard not to envy those who saw nascent talent bloom. Which is why, if you want to have something to tell your grandkids, you may want to go to Safeco Field tonight and watch 19-year-old......

In today's Seattle P-I, reporter John Hickey announces that Adrian Beltre is the Mariners' new clubhouse leader. Thank you, Adrian, for leading the Mariners into the basement of the American League West. You recall such great personages as Field Marshal Douglas Haig, General George McClellan and Hedley Lamarr. Are we bitter? Yes. How could one not be when exposed to this condescending piece, also in the P-I, which attempts to generate excitement for the upcoming......

We finally saw Mariners phenom Felix Hernandez pitch last night, against the Royals, and all we can say is oh my gosh. Imagine that you are a Kansas City Royal (put down the knife--this is only for a second). You just got swept in a doubleheader, each game by one run, giving you your 14th and 15th losses in a row. Your manager left the team to attend the funeral of his nephew, killed by......