Results tagged “uptightseattleite”

We have to talk about something serious, you guys: it's summer. We know, it was warm yesterday and it's gonna be warm today. But it's not that bad. Wednesday was a record-breaking day, and the official temp at SeaTac didn't even hit 90. Today's going to be more of the same, but we're sure we'll make it through this terrible ordeal just fine.

At the Cheese Festival this weekend, on our third table of samples, we proceeded as we generally do throughout the cheese concourse, standing on the outside, reaching in with our toothpicks for a cube. You know, Cheese Fest stuff. But this was the day we'd encounter one version of the typical Seattleite, and lo, the beast takes many forms. This version was the fifty-something Magnolia Dad with Token Younger Wife. He was quick to inform me that there was in fact a line, and that he had stood in it for forty minutes. That I thought I was better than everyone else, and that my mother hadn't taught me any manners (oh no, he di'int). For the record, my mama did teach me manners, and she also taught me to be smart enough not to WAIT IN AN OPTIONAL LINE FOR FORTY MINUTES.

Just got the email in which sitting City Council President Richard Conlin leaves his hat in the city council ring and avoids that whole mayoralty thing. "I pledge to work hard to bring Seattle back to economic health, put people first, support local business and our regional economy, and protect Seattle's environment over the next four years," says Conlin, who's been on the council doing stuff since 1997. The council appoints its presidents for two-year terms. We have a soft spot for Conlin since we often see him at arts events around town and because he bears an uncanny resemblance to the Weekly's Uptight Seattleite. So we feel represented.

A year ago Liberty, the coffeeshop/bar/sushi joint on 15th Ave, had the unmitigated gall to advertise their establishment via posters on telephone poles near their business location. As with the Iraq War, China's unlawful presence in Tibet, and Crash's Oscar win, Liberty's advertisements resulted in massive protests. Or at least some classic passive-aggressive Seattle behavior, like an "I, Anonymous" submitted to The Stranger and masking tape put on the posters indicating that Liberty was a "bad neighbor." Oh uptight Seattleite, way to stick it to the (small, independent business) man!

As noted previously, we're fans of the Uptight Seattleite persona because it seems to be gloriously, teeth-grindingly true. The Weekly's incarnation makes us laugh every so often, but the best gut-punch comes when we run across someone's real-life experience.

The first time we saw "Ask an Uptight Seattleite" in Seattle Weekly we thought it was a fake headline for "Ask a Mexican" and was supposed to be some kind of joke reaction to Seattle's reaction to "Ask a Mexican." Then we read it and it was the funniest thing we've probably ever read in the Weekly. It was funny and accurate (and exactly the kind of thing that would be great on Seattlest) and it gave us a glimmer of hope for the alt-weekly that's been living under a cloud of Big Changes Coming for, it seems like, ever. If this is the new Weekly, the promised New Yorker of Seattle, maybe it's going to work. Maybe it can make its way back into must-readville, assuming it ever had an address there. We weren't born here, so who knows.