Dear Universe, Our month of May is ruined. Carly Smithson was voted off American Idol—which, granted, actually happened in April, but matters now because the finals are in May and she should've at least made the bottom three. Then, last night, Hillary Clinton got canned in North Carolina and barely eked out of Indiana with a win, suffocating every last hopeful breath that our next president would be a strong, confident woman with a wide......