Results tagged “stupidcriminals”

...do not find prostitutes on Craigslist. If you do, and they end up assaulting you or not going through with the agreed act (and we've told you this too), do not call the Seattle Police Department to report it. The Seattle 911 Blog has yet another example of what should be well known to you by this point, dear readers. An unnamed man found a prostitute on Craigslist; he met her, she upped the price of her services, and then the prostitute assaulted said man after he chased her to an AM/PM. The jilted john called the SPD to report the assault. Of course, when he reported the assault, he had to explain to the officer the events surrounding the assault and...well. As a result, he ended up with not only a case number and a warning from the SPD, but also with his very own Seattlest post. Don't do it, kids.

This weekend, Mount Vernon police pulled over and arrested a Skagit Valley man for his 14th DUI. Our only question--why does this guy still have his license? We're not big on removing judicial discretion from sentencing, but it would seem to this Seattlest that the DUI is one conviction where "three strikes and you're out" should apply. Three DUIs, and say goodbye to your license. Instead, since this is the man's fourth DUI arrest in under ten years, he can be charged with a felony; this seems only to punish him, rather than to protect other drivers he may come into crashing contact with when drunk behind the wheel next time around.

Oh, stupid criminals...you may have a new low to aspire to. A 22-year-old was arrested Tuesday in South Seattle for attempting to burglarize his own mother's house. The kid's mom and other family members confronted him and his 15-year-old accomplice in the midst of the would-be armed robbery and caused the kids to flee the scene. The pair were quickly arrested and await charges. We imagine this is one case where Mom won't be bailing you out.

There has to be a better was to do this, guys. Border patrol agents are reporting another huge bust at the Lynden border crossing into Canada. Agents followed footprints they found on the Canadian side of the border into some bushes, where they found three individuals and two duffel bags filled with 115 pounds of marijuana. Despite the stoner stereotype of smoke-induced dimwittedness, these type of stories and the frequency which they are reported astonishes us. If you are dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of marijuana, surely you can come up with a better idea of getting it across the border than by foot, and hiding in some bushes. Or not, obviously. Since October of last year border agents in Blaine, Wash. have seized over 2100 pounds of marijuana in busts.

The continuous availability of stupid criminal stories never ceases to amaze us. The latest vignette to this never-ending novel comes from the newly launched Seattle 911 Blog.

This is a new one. Instead of fleeing arrest, a Moses Lake man crashed his car into a police parking lot gate to guarantee his arrest would happen. Officers inside the station heard the impact of the crash and responded immediately (very easy to do when it involves getting up and walking outside).

The Oregon Supreme Court ruled today that helping a pal move their pot plants is indeed illegal. To which we have to say: it took the Oregon State Supreme Court to decide that? Surely a lower court could have easily ruled on this decision, ending it with a "duh."

It's only Monday, but we can assure you the following will be the best local news headline you read all week:

We've all called in hooky and faked a cough or cold to get out of a day of work. Sometimes the daily grind just seems unbearable...we understand. But we sincerely hope that karmic justice comes fast and furious at Sandra Dee Martinez, a 40 year-old woman who faked brain cancer to get out of work.

A Coinstar employee has been accused of stealing nearly half a million dollars from the company's coin-counting machines in three states. 39-year-old Michael R. Burns was arrested yesterday and is expected to be charged with first-degree theft.

The Woods Coffee Shop in Bellingham was victim to two insults this weekend--theft and vandals who didn't take the care to spell their message properly. Someone caused over a thousand dollars of damage, smashing in a tempered window and plate glass. Also left behind at the scene of the crime, some misspelled political graffiti. "Facsism (sic) begins with the sale of public space" was stenciled on two of the remaining windows.

A Seabeck, Wash., man was arrested twice in one day for Driving Under the Influence. The 48-year-old man was pulled over twice by State Troopers on Friday for driving while intoxicated. The man was arrested once Friday morning with a blood-alcohol level of five times the legal limit. After being released, he must have gotten right back to drinking, because he was arrested that same night with a blood-alcohol level of four times the legal limit.