Sometimes, all you have to do is shake your bony little ass and the party organically develops around you. Who knew? IF YOU DANCE IT, THEY WILL COME. more ›

• Low tides over in West Seattle brought in odd little creatures of the sea.
• Man, those little suburb islands are making a lot of ruckus lately. First it was Bainbridge and their brothels. Now it's Vashon Island who needs a little rehab, as the use of heroin is on the rise.
• Glad we stuck to our decision not to go to Sasquatch this year. The music good, the rest of the experience sounded like absolute hell.

None of us are going to Sasquatch this year. That's right, all of Seattlest--all of this MANY-HEADED CERBERUS--is far too lame to be heading out to the Gorge for what looks to be a beautiful Memorial Day weekend. Instead, we're staying home, putting a few ice cubes in our scotch, and breaking out the summer tweed. But were we attending the three-day fest this year, we'd have plenty of good acts to choose from. We perused the schedule to come up with our hypothetical recommendations for this very real festival. more ›