Seattle police have filed second-degree murder charges against 28-year-old Brian Keith Brown in the beating death of James Paroline. Brown delivered a single punch that killed Paroline, who was tending a traffic circle garden last Wednesday in Rainier Beach. Police are searching for the suspect who is still at large and a $500,000 warrant has been issued. Brown has a history of violence and has been previously convicted for third-degree assault, after nearly choking an......

"Traffic Circle" courtesy of Seattlest Flickr User Dustin DeKoekkoek Yesterday Seattlest reported on the beating of a man tending to his neighborhood traffic circle. And it is with great sadness and a general feeling of What the Fuck? that we report that the victim in this senseless beating, James Paroline has died from his injuries. Paroline, a 60-year-old resident of Rainier Beach was mortally wounded on Wednesday after he was punched by an unknown assailant......

(Or their caretakers.) What to do when someone is impeding the flow of evening traffic so he can water some flowers in a traffic circle? Take care of it Rainier Beach-style: Punch him! Lessons learned: 1) Let the traffic circle garden die, because your fellow citizens obviously don't give a shit. 2) Don't squirt people with your hose, even if they're moving traffic cones. 3) Don't send 60-year-old men to the hospital just for blocking......

A confrontation in a downtown parking lot escalated into an all-out battle involving nearly 40 people, which took a SWAT Team and Gang Unit to quell. The incident occurred in the Bank of America Plaza parking lot on Fifth Avenue around 2 a.m. on Saturday morning. Two local women were taken to Harborview for injuries sustained in the fight--one had been stabbed and the other beaten. According to the P-I's report, a traffic dispute......

Seattlest may be more attuned to these reports, since we spend the greater portion of our day browsing local news sites...but what is going on with the spate of stabbings in Western Washington? Every time we refresh the local news sites, it seems they are reporting a new fatal or near-fatal stabbing. A quick perusal of Komo 4's local news site found the following recent headlines: Roadside Argument Leads to Deadly Stabbing Auburn Teen......

Writing news for Seattlest, we spend a lot of time feeling slightly befuddled by local news headlines. Last night's perusal of headlines offered us this gem: "Semi road rage leads to big mess on I-5." We read it as a case of mild road rage, somehow causing a traffic jam. A sentence into the story, we realized our error. In reality, the driver of a semi truck suffered a case of road rage when......

Back in mid-July, the Seattle Times brought the sad story of Mark Cruz, Renton, to our attention. Cruz was busted for honking at the car in front of him, which was lingering at a green light. This morning (thanks, Kayvaan G!) we noticed the P-I headline "Hold that honk: car horns are for safety only." To our surprise, Mark Cruz was again in the news, but for the same exact story. The fine, by......

LAist has so much fun this week! They go to E3, where they overhear the timeless remark "Man, this is where nerdy girls get laid." Is that a promise? They also give us this week's best CDs and make us realize that LA is the best place to use Zillow. Ah, Houstonist. They're biking to work, that is, if they can figure out how to get there. That's right, Mapquest says "Houston had the......

-This is a Detroit newspaper complaining about the lack of Starbucks cafes in their city. We shit you not. It looks like the Detroit airport has more Starbucksi than the city. -There are tomes to be written about Seattle drivers, but don't look for a chapter on road rage. We're cool as cucumbers behind the wheel. "You go." "No, you go." "No, I insist." -A guy in Snohomish County was arrested last night after......

Well, well, well. Will wonders never cease? We guess if you complain about the formulaic opening of a show long enough, sooner or later someone starts listening. So this week, dear viewers, feel free to send letters of congratulatory adulation (and sizable cash donations) to Seattlest for finally using its powers for good. Because, as far as we're concerned, it was our big mouths that managed to turn those trite, poorly woven medical-affliction-as-metaphor-for-life opening moments......