HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR LINDA'S: Capitol Hill mainstay and Linda Derschang's namesake bar celebrates its 15th birthday tonight, starting at 4 p.m. The first 100 people to show up get a free commemorative t-shirt, but for the rest of us, it's $2.99 cheeseburgers and 1994 beer prices all night. That's when beer was like, what, a nickel? Music care of DJ Damaged Goods.

Tuesdays are Muppet Days