What's that? Your election hangover still hasn't worn off? Well, these news won't help your headache any.
Extra, Extra: Lie Detectors and the Liquor Board's Big Job
Op-Ed: Initiative 1183 Is Kind of a Big, Corporate Mess, but it Won't Be That Tragic if it Passes
We've established that Initiative 1183 is a Costco-backed mess that favors corporations over individuals and small businesses. But if it passes, it won't be the end of the world -- and we can start talking about what's best for the state in terms of deregulation. The question here is: will it be harder to pass a different privatization initiative, or harder to pass a new tax structure on liquor that doesn't favor corporations as much?
Extra, Extra: To Catch a Predator Edition
Criminals beware: if you flash children or carry a weapon around a crowded protest, you'll probably get arrested.
Extra, Extra: Non-Occupy News
We're taking a brief break from monitoring the ever-changing status of Occupy Seattle to fill you in on what was going on while you were protesting:
Booze Gets Byzantine: Gregoire Signs Liquor Distribution Bill
The Governor signed a proposal that will potentially privatize liquor distribution in Washington State. Why? Mostly to mess with Costco. Read on.
Super Uncool: Burglars Boost Lotto Tickets from the Greenwood Liquor Store
Today in crime that is both senseless and sucky, two idiots robbed a liquor store, didn't steal the booze, and did take money from charity. Isn't Charlie Sheen in town today?
Tonight: Drink Liquor, Debate Liquor
Have you been running initiatives 1100 and 1105 through your head all month only to have them seem more convoluted, even after Seattlest's handy guide? Are you holding off on sending in that ballot until you hear a moderated, no-holds-barred throwdown between representatives of both sides--preferrably in a bar?
On Twilight Cocktails
Far be it from us to say that the Twilight franchise of books and movies is bad--they're super-entertaining and enjoyable. We just think Twilight is wrong about two things: Forks, Washington, and vampires.
Go See Dan Aykroyd, But Not for the Vodka
We’re not trying to dissuade you from meeting Dan Aykroyd! We just suggest you focus on what’s truly and awesomely bizarre about him: his UFO obsession.
Where's My Effing Booze?
Pity the poor bastards at the Liquor Board, whose job is to contribute revenue to the state's general fund, which they do by selling us booze. Not too much, mind you, that would be Bad. (Which is why most stores still aren't open on Sundays or holidays.) But now, thanks to the budget deficit, they're supposed to raise more revenue, so they're going to be open on the Fourth. Trouble is, according to the Times, they can't even get the right bottles of liquor into the stores (no Campari yesterday at Lower Queen Anne, for example). We have a suggestion: form a SWAT Team (Jim, Jack, James) and send in the snowplows!
Wtf? Bacon-flavored Vodka? Really?
Black Rock Spirits, a Seattle-based distiller, is releasing bacon-flavored vodka, artfully named "Bakon." The only place it's sold in town is Belltown Bistro (thus far). Seriously, we have nothing to add to this, other than to point out that the bacon ship has already sailed.
Are Government And Booze A Match Made In Heaven?
The liquor business is booming, despite--or perhaps because of--the recession impacting every other sector of Washington's economy. Gregoire's '09-'11 budget attempts to capitalize on the boom, using Washington's convenient state-run liquor store set-up by requesting that ten more liquor stores open across the state. In theory, this would mean more cash for a state government under such a financial squeeze that social and health care programs are being slashed right and left. But, as the P-I points out, the budget specifications are dredging up the old debate about the state's involvement in liquor sales. Here we go, again. More information for you while you make up your mind:
Tini Biggs Celebrates Spring With New Martinis
We hate to sound like the punchline of a blond joke, but OMG, we are soooo drunk.

