Not sure we've ever seen a win for which the credit belongs so overwhelmingly to the defense. For most of the game, the Seahawks' defensive line was able to get pressure with only four rushers. By establishing that, they were able to drop guys back into coverage, which led to the two pick sixes. The offense? The special teams? Not so great. But let's enjoy this one for now, shall we? Here's the scene at......

Vitals: Gregory Alan Maddux, 41 yo RHP. Born in San Angelo, Texas. 6-0, 180. 336-205, 3.07 career. 3-2, 3.20 in 2007. $10,000,000 salary. Arsenal: Fastball and a changeup. Neither are as fast as they once were, but they get the job done. He mixes in a slow, tight curve and a slider. Recent Battles: Only one of Maddux' 685 career starts has come against the Mariners. In 2003, while with the Braves, he struck out......

Vitals: Kelvim Jose Escobar, 31 yo RHP. Born in La Guaira, Venezuela. 6-1, 230. 87-84, 4.20 career. 4-1, 2.21 in 2007. $9 million salary. Arsenal: 92-97 mph fastball, hard slider, splitter and change. Recent Battles: In two August starts against the M's last year, Escobar totaled 16 Ks. On the 17th, Escobar beat Jamie Moyer in Moyer's last start as a Mariner. On the 28th, Felix Hernandez (today's M's pitcher) beat Escobar 2-0. Our Best......

The two winningest Mariner pitchers ever, Jamie Moyer and Randy Johnson, start against each other today. Moyer had 145 wins as a Mariner, Johnson had 130. Combined, the two pitched 3932 innings as Mariners. They've faced each other once before--in Texas, 18 years ago. On Thursday, September 21, 1989, while the Berlin Wall was still up, Ed Koch was mayor of New York, and Samuel Beckett was alive, 26-year-old Moyer, then a back-of-the-rotation starter for......

Mariners franchise wins leader Jamie Moyer, who is apparently as discardable as a day-old croissant, beat the Cubs last night and became the oldest Phillie pitcher to win a game (Moyer's 43). It was also Moyer's first win in the National League since 1988, when he pitched the Cubs past the Pirates on the last day of the season. We think Moyer will like returning to the National League. In his final start for the......

The last time Jamie Moyer was involved in a trade, it was almost a gift to the M's. They got their all-time winningest pitcher in franchise history (145), the Red Sox got 2 1/2 years of the execrable Darren Bragg. And today, the Mariners re-gifted Jamie Moyer, to the Phillies, for two minor league pitchers, neither of whom are very good. It seems to us a shame that you'd trade away your franchise pitching leader......

Chim Chim Cheree! The Mariners finished a three-game sweep of the hapless Diamondbacks last night, scoring two runs off Arizona closer Jorge Julio in the 9th for a 3-2 win. The win pushed them by Texas for second place in the AL West. They are two games behind Oakland. As the number-conscious boys at USS Mariner point out, the stats suggest that the M's are better than the A's. Though the A's have the better......

To: Matthew Baldwin (aka Defective Yeti) From: Seattlest Subject: Re: Friday night If I ever run into you or your evil twin I'd love to buy you a Starbucks as your site is far funnier than is proper. Too bad about you and Jamie Moyer (pitcher for the seattle mariners) - I really thought you guys were going to make it work. I love you, Seattlest P.S. Maybe we can make it to a grunge......

Eddie Guardado didn't cotton to being removed as Mariner closer, the P-I reports today. Apparently he's been sulking, and Jamie Moyer coralled him for a private chat over the weekend. The mano-a-mano preceded a successful inning against Los Angeles. Everyday Eddie thinks it was a turning point. I was able to put all of that anger and those negative feelings and put them into a bag and lock them away. Guardado's negative feelings bag......

After shitting the bed in the 9th inning last night (bases loaded, nobody out, down two runs, and the "heart of the order" went down 1-2-3) and wasting another great start by Jamie Moyer, the Mariners fell to 3.5 games out of first place. Joe Blanton, who is the batting practice pitcher for the rest of the American League, completely baffled the M's again, allowing only one hit through eight innings. This can't have surprised......

We guarantee that sometime during this week's crucial series against Oakland, Dave Niehaus will employ the phrase "house of horrors" to describe McAfee Coliseum. With good reason. It's where Mariners seasons have traditionally gone to die. Even during the glory season of 1995, the Mariners were not immune to the Coliseum's mojo. In a mid-August game, Mike Blowers made two errors in the ninth inning, leading to two unearned runs and a 3-2 loss......

As the Mariners continue to stagger through the second week of the season our optimism following the 3-1 start has dropped a bit, okay a huge bit. We may need to take a break tonight since we have spent the last few games with our head in our hands. Tomorrow night Felix pitches, which is always fun to watch, and Friday night there is an interesting pitching match up (at least until the game begins)......

The Mariners roster is almost set. Jose Lopez won the second base job, as expected. Longshot bench aspirant Roberto Petagine made the team with a hot spring. The only competition left is for two remaining spots in the bullpen. Journeyman Jeff Harris and former Angel Jake Woods are expected to win these. Jamie Moyer will start Opening Day, followed by Joel Piniero, Jarrod Washburn, Gil Meche, and phenom Felix Hernandez on Friday against the A's.......

Hot on the heels of the Kenji Johjima signing (which will, mark our words, end up being the most underpublicized but important free agent signing in all of baseball this winter), the Mariner corporate stiffs are busy trying to shanghai other talented baseball players into service on the U.S.S. Last Place. At the baseball winter meetings in Dallas, the rumors are flying fast and furious. According to Brad "Assface" Stalin of the Tuscaloosa Evening Masturbator,......

We don't know what the most scarring experience of your early 20s was-- a disastrous relationship, a lengthy illness, a deep body massage from these guys--but ours was suffering through the late innings of each and every 1997 Seattle Mariners game, as the washouts and has-beens the team collected for its bullpen found new and inventive methods of losing games. So, thank you, today's Seattle Times, for dredging up those memories and tempting us to......

We've announced the season's demise before, but, after losing 7 of 10 on their post-All Star Game road trip, the Mariners are officially done. The lights are out, the door's closed, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard, and the Jello is jiggling, as Chick Hearn would say. So, ironically, the stage is set for what will probably be the most interesting week of the entire crappy 2005 Mariners season--the six days between now......

Friday night, after watching his team lose their fourth game in a row, Mariners Manager Mike Hargrove boiled over. "I was hot, and I let it go," said the manager. "If I had a nickel for every bad word I threw out there, I could retire." Based on Hargrove's age and current salary, a retirement calculator estimates that he will need approximately $5,740,000 to retire at his current standard of living. At a nickel......

New Mariner Richie Sexson hit two home runs, Jamie Moyer pitched 5.2 strong innings, and the bullpen was perfect as the M's won on Opening Day. Today Gil Meche faces the Twins' Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana at 7:05. The game will be televised on KSTW (Channel 11). Buy tickets.......