Results tagged “idiots”

A lot of questions were running through our mind at the Mariner's game on Saturday afternoon: "Where's the shade?" "Where's the beer guy?" "How many pitches is it going to take for this bum to load the bases with A's again this inning?" and "How is he going to weasel out of it this time?" and then finally "What's with all the togas in the beer line?" Not a minute after we determined that it must be some kind of fraternity day at the ball game did an idiot run out from the center field fence to Ichiro and Ibanez where they were waiting out a pitching change. They tentatively shook his hand and then started conversing and the three sat there alone for like a minute and a half before security finally caught on and started the long run out to center field from their stations in the infield. Everyone in the stadium not wearing a robe or Greek letters held their breath as the pow-wow went on and on unmolested.

So much new stuff! Food critic Bethany over at the Slog tipped us off about Cafe Presse opening not far from our office so we sauntered over for a lunchtime look-see. We spotted it easily because of the yellow sign. It's on the west side of 12th Avenue, on the block south of Madison, forming a French triangle (un triangle français) with Licorous and Lark. Maybe they can all field a soccer team against Stellina and La Spiga.

When Seattlest received that fateful email from a friend, our immediate reaction was a roll of the eyes and an audible, drawn out, "Bull shit." No way would the one and only Beastie Boys play the legendary but very wee Crocodile Cafe. No way. Then came the Ticketmaster link all but confirming it. The Croc's website kept mum, not listing the show at all. Supposedly The End had been talking it up, but we wouldn't know since we haven't listened to that station since discovering KEXP years ago. A click of the mouse fractions of a second after tickets went on sale and we were in. Many of our friends and most of the Seattle area weren't as lucky. A quick check on Craig's List and Ebay showed that scalpers had done some of the immediate damage. Venting ensued.

What defines a terrorist or terrorism? You know, besides standing between a Republican and the camera he wants to install in your panty drawer? Is it your actions? Is it your nationality? Is it your race? Is it your intent? We better figure it out because there are suddenly a whole lot of laws on the books all over the place that say criminals get this sentence and terrorists get this other one. Down in Eugene right now the (and this next word is important) eco-saboteurs who perpetrated a string of arsons across the Pacific Northwest are about to be sentenced.

Tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo, so you already know that any vaguely Mexican destination is going to be filled with jackasses drinking margaritas and acting like idiots over what isn't really Mexican independence day. We're fine with the drunkenness, we're fine with the jackassery, but really, there are much better ways to spend your day and night than in some overly adorned restaurant. Here are three of them, and since we know you're going to do the Cinco De Mayo thing anyway, we'll even tell you how to fit this into the more traditional experience:

Three years ago, Cinco de Mayo fell on a weekend when Alpental actually had enough snow to still be open, and they closed down the season with cheap tix, shenanigans and beer. They didn't quite legitimately stretch the season that long this year, but Alpie is re-opening on Saturday for another 5/5 season-ending bender guaranteed to have people dressed up like idiots vying for the grand prize of a 2008 season pass. Some snowboarder who is secretly a furry could totally clean up on that one.

In the future, when Vegas favors your Super Bowl opponent by a touchdown or more, it's best to consider that they're perpetrating some fraud on the betting public or simply don't know what they're talking about only after you've thought long and hard on the possibility that they indeed know exactly what they're talking about. You should, unlike Seattlest -- born and raised in the Windy City -- think long and hard on it before you finish a particularly drinky NFC Championship by seating yourself in front of Southwest.com. In retrospect, no way the Bears are winning that game, and even if they do it's ten below outside -- only the most jingoistic of idiots turns cars over and parties in the streets when it's ten below. There was no Shuffling in Chicago this weekend. It was more of a mad dash from one thermostat to the next.

Weekend warriors, snow-blind idiots -- call us what you want, Seattlest finally made it up to the hills this weekend and well, there's really no graceful way to say this: we're motherfucking sore today. Thing is, we haven't had much exercise the past couple months and our holiday meals have been more than generous to the curious mass growing under our shirt. Either way, we saw the snow reports for Crystal Mt. and fat belly be damned, we were going snowboarding.

Let's bitch about the obvious because this has to be addressed: Thursday night around 8:30 there werent that many cars on I-5 but it still took what seemed like hours to drive four measely miles because the few drivers that were out were all going 55 or less in the left lane. What the fuck is wrong with these idiots? The speed limit explicitly says 60 and you can go up to 70 before the man fucks with you. Assholes. Are all Seattle drivers stoned out of their minds or do they just suck? Kill yourselves. (Yes the sublime suckiness of Seattle drivers has already been bitched about before to death but fuck you.)

In the shadow of the Kim tragedy, we did not pick up the thread of the three climbers lost on Mt. Hood--one of whom, Kelley James, was found dead in a snow cave on Sunday. The other two have not yet been found, but despite their experience and the gear they carried with them, the prospects are horribly grim. We didn't think we'd have much to add in covering the story.

What am I doing here? Standing in the cold, with all these people? I swore I'd never do this. Swore I'd never join the crazies, waiting all night for some sale that can't possibly be worth it. But here I am.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you, but we did. Unfortunately some of you failed to heed said warning about yesterday's Harvey Pekar reading and now we will have to spend hours de-friending all of your sorry asses on myspace. We know this because one of our agents went to this event undercover last night and filed the following surveillance report:

All music all the time wears us out, so we decided to hopscotch around Bumbershoot this year and take advantage of the talks, arts performances, and art exhibits.

Dylan at Seattle Metblogs is almost as triviacentric as we are -- he's started a new series, "The Knowledge," asking 10 Seattle-related trivia (or esoterica) questions each week or so. This week: People.

Below are ten people. Please explain why they are (in)famous or (un)important in Seattle.

Continue reading "Turns Out We Really Don't Know that Much About Seattle After All"

Ron Silver may have been a bad guy in TimeCop, but he had a better seat at the NBA draft than the Sonics' draft pick. Yes, with their highest draft pick since 1989, the Sonics picked a guy who was sitting in the stands.

Seattlest received a tip from our only contact in the bicycle enthusiast hobo underworld (a sub-species also referred to by anthropoligists with the more politically correct term "Urban Primitive") that New York's Idiotarod - an urban parody of the Alaskan dog sled race whereby shopping carts are used as the vehicle of choice - will come to Seattle this weekend in the form of The Seattle Idiotarod. The Village Voice covered the recent New York session and the situation the idiots enjoyed with the local police.

Another helping of winter seems to be in the forecast for our area so we thought we should share this charming documentary of northwest idiots in their natural habitat that was recently posted to youtube.com. We can't say that it doesn't look like fun. We also can't say we'll ever park in Wedgewood during a snowstorm.