Results tagged “fitness”

Seattlest was adamant that we were going to sign up for Gold's Gym on Broadway yesterday. We'd decided that we were ready to move beyond the gym at our apartment complex and that Gold's hit the sweet spot of equipment and convenience (the YMCA on 23rd is closer, but the equipment is lacking). So post-brunch we made our way there, smiling that we were going to finally check this off of our to-do list. Here it is Monday, and we still have no membership. Let's go through how Gold's managed to screw up what should have been an easy sale.

Capitol Hill studio Pilates Body Fitness is celebrating their 5th year in the Capitol Hill Arts Center with an open house this Sunday. It's a good chance to stop in to check out the equipment, meet the instructors, and see if you're interested in giving this hippie holistic exercise bullshit a try. (Tongue-in-cheekiness aside, pilates is great, and we'd totally do it every day if we were an independently wealthy ex-trophy wife and/or trust fund kid.)

It's been a while since Seattlest extolled the virtue of our hero, Takeru Kobayashi or his sport, competitive eating. Sure, his hot dog eating record was beaten a few weeks back, but he's still our hero, and we still admire his fitness in the face of his professional gluttony.

Holy smokes! Giant fish on the MTA, Paris Hilton in jail, then out, then in again, Al Gore, goatses, blumpkins, Matt Damon, and baby art critics! It's been a busy week across the Ist-A-Verse, and here's a smattering of what's been going on.

Local photographer Victoria Renard is auctioning off this corset, once the proud (and alluring) possession of this formerly local musician Neko Case. Her description:

This item is a 50's era black lace full length girdle-style bustier with 6 garter attachments made by Lady Marlene. The tag says the cup size is 36 C but I am a 38 D and it fits great. The materials are elastic, nylon and rubber and the back is made out of a sort of satin-like material. It has flexible metal boning throughout to keep the goods propped up and the bads tucked away and in place. THE STORY: It was originally owned by me but I lent it to Neko Case for the pictured photo. At the time, Neko wore a size 12 and begged me to give it to her so she could "squish away her flab". She bugged me relentlessly for a year until I finally caved in and gave it to her. We dubbed this little number "The Secret Weapon" because it made you look hot in or out of your clothing and mysteriously attracted members of the opposite sex for either of us when worn. Then, she went on a diet and fitness program and got down to a size 7. Two years after I gave it to her, she gave The Secret Weapon back to me. Why am I selling such a nostalgic piece of my past, you may ask? Because I couldn't stand the competition and went on my own weight loss regime. Now, The Secret Weapon is too big for me too. Not to mention, I'm presently in a long term relationship and it would be far, far too dangerous for me to wear The Secret Weapon out of the house. In the heyday, however, my measurements were 38-31-40 meandering somewhere between a size 10 and size 12. Though it is in very good condition, The Secret Weapon has experienced (among many things) some gentle stretching along the sides of the waist and hip area. It has some very slight fraying around each side of the bra cups and is missing two eyes from it's six hook and eye set that fastens down the front. It also zips up in front so I have never felt the need to replace the missing eyes. All six garters are in tact and in good condition. No holes or stains. Overall, it's in great shape for it's age and considering what it's been through (many, many adventures indeed). I hope I look as good at 50+! The winning bidder will receive an original 8x10 color print of the photo (pictured here) of Neko wearing The Secret Weapon. Though magazines such as Rolling Stone, Esquire, and GQ have requested permission to print the photo it has only been published in a year 2000 girlie calendar put out as a promo piece for the record label Sympathy For The Record Industry which can be viewed here, http://sympathyrecords.com/calendar/2000/index.shtml. Neko is Miss February. She's wearing The Secret Weapon again in a photo shoot published on the web only for Kutie Magazine and in a never released super 8 stag loop reel shot in a rest stop bathroom at 3 AM in Minnehaha County, South Dakota. Those two scandously sextacular secrets are presently more closely guarded than Fort Knox by me and no bribe is big enough for anyone to see them and the full naughtiness involved. The pictured Miss February print is also available for sale separately through my website, http://victoriarenard.com/. More photos of this rare and seductive item also available upon request to serious bidders.

Little tip to the Mariners, the next time the jewel of your franchise leaves the game with an apparent injury don’t play some happy Van Morrison song about love. Instead, as our friend pointed out, you might want to play something more appropriate, like the Six Feet Under theme.

They say that one of the hardest things to do in life is replace a legend.

Kaspar Hauser, the San Francisco sketch group that performs Thursday at Rebar, is smarter, faster, more creative, and miles ahead of any intentionally funny sketch comedy group performing today.

Wheel yourself right on past the express bus stop, cripple, Erica C. Barnett says you're holding things up for the abled.

Why is it when we're depressed, we insist on listening to depressing music? Seattlest has been playing "Fuck it Man" by Mellowdrone and "Eli, The Barrow Boy" by The Decemberists all morning.

Seattlest has never been in Stand By Me. If we were corralled by a prepubescent hiking companion and asked what one food we'd want to eat for the rest of our lives, it would not be cherry flavor Pez. Nope. We'd pick smoothies.

What a bunch of lard asses the rest of the county is, right? Did you travel for the holidays and have to sit next to that fat guy for four hours on the airplane, the whole time thinking "the fattest man on the face of the Earth has to be sitting in 21B", but then when you finally landed and got inside the airport there were blubbery people like him (or bigger!) everywhere? And did you fall to the ground and scream, "nooooooo" when you saw the Chantiko all over their lips or the chunks of greasy sausage and cigarette butts caught in their neck rolls? And when they came to assist you did they say, "Look at him - I think he needs a couple pizzas or something. The poor thing hasn't eaten. Quick, someone bring a couch and a television!" They couldn't even bend over to help you up because they were so fat and their arteries were so hard and packed with solids!

Where were you when you heard the news?

If there's one thing Seattlest is sure of, it's that walking around in all this rain and cold sucks. That's why we'll be staying inside, thank you very much, until after tax day next year. But there are those of you who haven't got the sense God gave a tiny-headed grub beetle. Lots of you. Somebody keeps REI afloat after all.

We’ve always been intrigued by corn mazes -- especially since, if memory serves, one was once made out of Ichiro’s face -- but we’ve never tried one ourselves. So we recently spent an autumn afternoon in the Snohomish River Valley, about a 35-mile drive north of Seattle, visiting “Washington’s Largest Corn Maze”. It’s actually a 12-acre stand shaped like the Evergreen State, roughly 1/3,802,827th the size.

What's it like being Seattlest?

After a hard week of work, Seattlest needed to relax, so on Saturday we traveled to the wilds of Lynnwood in order to make use of a free day pass at the Newlife Fitness and Spa. Since everyone and their mother were headed to the Solstice Parade (been there, done that), our trip from Capitol Hill to the 'burbs was but twenty minutes. Thankfully, the brochure we had with us included both directions and a well-labeled map, allowing us to find our destination in no time.