The way Bonnie Hunt tells it, the movie Dave started as a short film with her in the role of a White House tour guide. Then Kevin Kline dropped by the set, started riffing, and the whole project changed. That's how we feel about Seattlest Alumnest Seth, who took a story about our pre-pubescent missed chance with Janine Turner, and spun it into a very funny piece on the Safeco Field singles scene. it was......

Our beloved boys of summer (?) return to the friendly confines of RoBro after a 3-3 road trip to Boston and Toronto, cementing them firmly in last place in the AL West—16.5 games behind the Angels. It was a busy week for the M's, one which featured a star pitcher's arm falling off, while King Felix threw two gems, yielding only one unearned run in 14 innings pitched. The team was busy off the......

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you perform badly at your job this year. Not just sort-of badly, but worse than any person in the history of your company. In fact, you have one of the thirteen worst performances in the history of your industry. Would you expect a raise? What about a $100,000 raise? And, again, for the sake of argument, let's say you got that raise. How motivated would you......

Two of baseball's best young pitchers face off tonight at the local baseball yard: It's two-time Cy Young award winning lefty Johan Santana of the Twins against the M's fireballing, barely legal righty, Felix Hernandez. There's national bragging rights at stake as well: Both Santana and Hernandez are Venezuelan. You can bet they'll be watching the matchup in the street of Caracas, unless Hugo Chavez has banned baseball as an imperialist tool. Gametime is 7:05......

Got an email from a friend the other day: "My boss says he's officially back on the Mariners bandwagon." We were thrilled--the more bosses that join the bandwagon the better, in our view, even if it means it'll be harder to get the company seats. The Mariners finished the first half of the year with the best record of any Mariner team in history that didn't include Mark McLemore, and it's not easy to explain......

Vitals: Kelvim Jose Escobar, 31 yo RHP. Born in La Guaira, Venezuela. 6-1, 230. 87-84, 4.20 career. 4-1, 2.21 in 2007. $9 million salary. Arsenal: 92-97 mph fastball, hard slider, splitter and change. Recent Battles: In two August starts against the M's last year, Escobar totaled 16 Ks. On the 17th, Escobar beat Jamie Moyer in Moyer's last start as a Mariner. On the 28th, Felix Hernandez (today's M's pitcher) beat Escobar 2-0. Our Best......

Mariners with Felix Hernandez Record: 2-0 Payroll: $106,516,833 Mariners without Felix Hernandez Record: 3-9 Payroll: $106,096,833 Sometimes, words can't tell the story as well as numbers. Look at that--the $106 million of player that Mariners GM Bill Bavasi recruited to surround Felix Hernandez can't manage to win more than 25% of its games. To put it another way--0.39% of the Mariners' payroll is responsible for 40% of its wins. The blueprint for the season was......

According to the Times some doctor man is going to poke around Felix Hernandez's elbow before this afternoon's game, and then talk to the media about what he found. The game starts at 3:30, which means if you start making this Apple Flan right now, you could know the fate of the season by the time it's ready to serve eight. UPDATE: Lookout Landing is reporting, "IMPORTANT NOTICE: word from the organization is that Felix's......

Little tip to the Mariners, the next time the jewel of your franchise leaves the game with an apparent injury don’t play some happy Van Morrison song about love. Instead, as our friend pointed out, you might want to play something more appropriate, like the Six Feet Under theme. As of this morning not much is known on the severity of Felix Hernandez’s injury. He removed himself from the game in the first inning after......

For our headline, we borrow the words of that magnificent artisan of the English language, Fox Sports Northwest's Brad Adam. Could anyone sum up Felix Hernandez' breathtaking, complete game shutout, no-hit-thru-seven-innings performance last night any better? Probably not, but let's take a look-see. "He threw me a pitch my last at-bat, I'm not kidding you, it moved about 6 feet and it was a 95-mile-an-hour sinker. I mean, what can you do?" -- 2B......

We'll suspend our usual format today because of the existence of this remarkable video. 18-year-old Matsuzaka baffling Ichiro in his prime is pretty much all you need to see. This game will undoubtedly be watched live by more Japanese than Americans--the batter/pitcher battle is watched with far more interest there than it is here, for whatever reason. Not only that, but Dice-K and Ichiro are not only Japan's most famous athletes, they are among Japan's......

After Felix Hernandez' terrible eight-inning reign, the A's won't be contesting Jarrod Washburn's accession to the mound. What a performance--the best in Mariner opening day history, and one of the best in opening day history period. ESPN says Hernandez is the first pitcher to record 12+Ks and not give up a run on Opening Day since Bob Gibson did it in 1967. Later that year, Gibson won games one, four, and seven of the World......

During the telecast of the Mariners' 6-2 win over Oakland last night, the TV cameras captured an activity we haven't seen much of in the Mariner dugout recently--laughter. The Mariners are having fun, and with good reason. They're two games over .500 for the first time since the end of the 2003 season, they've gotten two solid performances from the two biggest questions on the pitching staff, and the young guys--Jeremy Reed (with seven total......

With his fifth-inning home run today, former Mariner Ken Griffey, Jr. left a couple of Yankee greats in his rear-view mirror. The homer was the 538th of Junior's career, one more than Mickey Mantle, and 12th on the all-time HR list. And, by driving himself in, Griffey tallied his 1,538th RBI, one more than Joe DiMaggio and 31st on the all-time RBI list. Griffey hit 398 of his home runs, and drove in 1152 of......

The Mariners roster is almost set. Jose Lopez won the second base job, as expected. Longshot bench aspirant Roberto Petagine made the team with a hot spring. The only competition left is for two remaining spots in the bullpen. Journeyman Jeff Harris and former Angel Jake Woods are expected to win these. Jamie Moyer will start Opening Day, followed by Joel Piniero, Jarrod Washburn, Gil Meche, and phenom Felix Hernandez on Friday against the A's.......

MLB.com released its 2006 Top 50 Prospects Poll today. It's based on voting by "23 members of the scouting community," and these are 23 folks who don't think much of the Everett Aquasox, Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, San Antonio Missions, or any other Seattle Mariner farm club. Out of the 50 prospects selected, not a single one is property of our Mariners. What do you people do all day??? On the bright side, there's one prospect......

Rainier Beach, Seattlest's favorite high school hoops team, got upset in the state quarterfinals last night, by Lynden High. But, really, what chance did they stand against a team that has players with names like Dirk Dallas and Brady Bomber. Dallas had 19 points, Bomber had 15. Is this a high school basketball team or a 30's detective novel? The Seahawks released two defensive starters and a no-name, possibly to free up the money they'll......

Pitchers and catchers reported to Mariners' spring training camp in Arizona this week, and we are all a-titter at the dawn of seven months of baseball news. Here's the haps: M's players have a nickname for new starting catcher Kenji Jojima: "Joe-mama." 2005 first-round pick Jeff Clement has a nice swing. Mike Hargrove, former victim of a quail-hunting mishap, gives his take on Shot-in-the-Face-gate. The first in an interminable parade of articles about phenom......

Not to go all Clifford Geertz on you people, but the way a culture plays sports is often a reflection of the culture itself. Take the last appearance of a great sports hero before his retirement. This is done far differently in Japan than here. Last year, Edgar Martinez’ last at-bat was in a meaningless game against a mediocre pitcher. No ceremony attended this moment, and Edgar ended his career by grounding into a double......

Ever wish you'd watched a Nirvana show before Bleach came out? Or sipped wine at Keith Haring's first gallery show? Or seen Karl Rove eat his first donut? Even if you aren't a fan of music, art, or obesity, it's hard not to envy those who saw nascent talent bloom. Which is why, if you want to have something to tell your grandkids, you may want to go to Safeco Field tonight and watch 19-year-old......

In today's Seattle P-I, reporter John Hickey announces that Adrian Beltre is the Mariners' new clubhouse leader. Thank you, Adrian, for leading the Mariners into the basement of the American League West. You recall such great personages as Field Marshal Douglas Haig, General George McClellan and Hedley Lamarr. Are we bitter? Yes. How could one not be when exposed to this condescending piece, also in the P-I, which attempts to generate excitement for the upcoming......

It's a slow time for Seattle sports--the Mariners stink, the Storm are mediocre, and pro football and basketball have not yet begun. But, like the goatskin vendors at a Marrakech souk, our city's sports fan/bloggers do not rest. Over at U.S.S. Mariner, they've dug up some joy-inducing statistics about phenom Felix Hernandez. At Supersonicsoul, there's speculation about the 2005-06 team roster, including an update on the possibility of Reggie Miller sidekick Dale Davis becoming a......

We finally saw Mariners phenom Felix Hernandez pitch last night, against the Royals, and all we can say is oh my gosh. Imagine that you are a Kansas City Royal (put down the knife--this is only for a second). You just got swept in a doubleheader, each game by one run, giving you your 14th and 15th losses in a row. Your manager left the team to attend the funeral of his nephew, killed by......

The key play in Sunday’s loss to the Angels typified how bland and passionless the 2005 Mariners are. In the eighth inning, Richie Sexson stood on third base as the tying run. The batter, Yuniesky Betancourt, lined a one-hopper to the left of Angels third baseman Chone Figgins. Figgins dove, speared the ball, rose quickly to his feet and fired a throw home. Catcher Bengie Molina reached for Figgins’ slightly high throw just as Sexson......

When can the Tyrone Willingham Era be said to begin? The day the UW hired him to coach the Husky football team? The first day of spring practice? The first game? The first time he appears, as he inevitably will, in a commercial for Pro Golf Discount? This is one of life's enduring mysteries. But, for the sake of this post, let's say that the Tyrone Willingham era begins today--the first day of fall practice......

Nineteen-year-old Felix Hernandez, the jewel of the Mariners minor league system, is now an experienced major leaguer. Sure the experience is extremely limited, but Baseball America’s top prospect started today’s game in Detroit, and as anyone who knows anything about the game will tell you, once you face Craig Monroe you have arrived. As excited as we are to watch Hernandez pitch for the Mariners over the coming years, we are a little disappointed that......

The Mariners had their first of about 30 Spring Training games yesterday. Since the team's lineup is mostly set, it will probably be a boring spring, as there will be few position battles to generate excitement. This is a good thing. When you hear your manager say something like "We're hoping someone steps up and wins a job in the starting rotation," you can translate that as, "Our pitching stinks," and immediately divest of......