What a glorious morning! The Sonics have won three of five, Edgar Martinez wasn't in the Mitchell Report, we've got a kickin' holiday party to attend tonight. Guess we'll just check out Monkey Disaster, the blog of ex-KUOWer, Conservatize Me author and Seattlest favorite John Moe and see what's up with him...I'm writing you this letter to let you know that I'm leaving you. I've met someone else. Someone named Paul. St Paul. I'm going......

The two winningest Mariner pitchers ever, Jamie Moyer and Randy Johnson, start against each other today. Moyer had 145 wins as a Mariner, Johnson had 130. Combined, the two pitched 3932 innings as Mariners. They've faced each other once before--in Texas, 18 years ago. On Thursday, September 21, 1989, while the Berlin Wall was still up, Ed Koch was mayor of New York, and Samuel Beckett was alive, 26-year-old Moyer, then a back-of-the-rotation starter for......

--Edgar Martinez is being inducted into the Mariners Hall of Fame. --A Seattle couple is threatening to name their child "Cooperstown" after the NY town that holds the Baseball Hall of Fame. --A zebra at Woodland park charged a fence and broke its back. --LeBron James has signed on to shill software for Microsoft. --Where can you get a decent meal in this town after 9pm? Metafilter says... --Local jazz legend Floyd Standifer is dead.......

Josh Brown is a strong Christian, so he may be uncomfortable with what we are about to say, however, we've been screaming it for hours, so why stop now? We love you Josh Brown. Josh Brown, we want to hold you in our arms. We want to fly with you on the back of a unicorn to a far off castle in the clouds, where we can to live together and have babies. Unfortunately I......

They may not have a winning tradition on the field, but the Mariners do have a tradition of winning commercials. There was the famous early 80's Jacket Night commercial, in which Mariner Tom Paciorek, asked to do a commercial with no script and a single prop (a pair of funny nose glasses) ad-libbed that it was "Funny Nose Glasses night..." Announcer: No, Tom, it's Jacket Night. Everyone who comes to the ballpark gets a......

--This “special to the Seattle Times” is a Japanese-speaker interviewing Ichiro. On his off-season meeting with Mike Hargrove: “Some of the things I had to say were quite harsh.” --Shock among the local media as, upon arriving at Mariners camp, Carl Everett did not stab a bullpen catcher, set his dog on Mike Hargrove, and loudly proclaim that the Earth was created in 48 days by Peabo Bryson. Instead, according to the Seattle Times, Everett......

We don't know what the most scarring experience of your early 20s was-- a disastrous relationship, a lengthy illness, a deep body massage from these guys--but ours was suffering through the late innings of each and every 1997 Seattle Mariners game, as the washouts and has-beens the team collected for its bullpen found new and inventive methods of losing games. So, thank you, today's Seattle Times, for dredging up those memories and tempting us to......

Not to go all Clifford Geertz on you people, but the way a culture plays sports is often a reflection of the culture itself. Take the last appearance of a great sports hero before his retirement. This is done far differently in Japan than here. Last year, Edgar Martinez’ last at-bat was in a meaningless game against a mediocre pitcher. No ceremony attended this moment, and Edgar ended his career by grounding into a double......

When fans elected Major League Baseball's All-(20th) Century Team in 1999, they weren't very politically correct about it. Nowhere among the fifty available spots did they vote in a Latino player. Bad fans! Now, MLB is making up for it with a special election of sorts--fan balloting for the Latino Legends Team. Between today and October 10th, fans can choose who were the top people at each position whose parents happened to be of Hispanic......