Results tagged “drunk”

The Midwest gets a bad rap, especially from natives of the relatively balmy Northwest states. We've always thought that's a little unfair; the colder, cheesier region isn't that bad. A person shouldn't, for instance, have to heavily drink her way through Wisconsin, like this 60-year-old Washington resident did while visiting the state. Not only is heavily drinking your way through Wisconsin a bad idea legally (she was caught seriously trashed behind the wheel not once, not twice, but three times), but you might also miss some of the many charms of the midwestern snowy winter while spending all of your energy simultaneously trying to stay in your lane and pouring yourself glasses of boxed wine. Focus, people. For everything there's a season, and a time for every purpose under the sun; there's a time for Washington and a time for Wisconsin. For that matter, there's a time for drinking and a time for driving. Don't flaunt the heavens' law by doing them at the same time.

We hate to sound like the punchline of a blond joke, but OMG, we are soooo drunk.