Of that much, we are certain, given Ted Miller's nine hundred word essay on Christal Morrison's "killer looks." First off, he's right. The girl is absolutely stunning -- in that bible school, girl-next-door kind of way. In fact, we'll readily admit that when we saw her smiling face on the front page of this morning's PI, we cut straight to page D1 for the full-size photo. Yeah, she's not bad. After cooling ourselves off with......

It was a terrifying night for former Garfield and UW basketballer Tre Simmons, who's playing in Israel this year. Israeli basketball fans are notoriously crazy, but the fans--or at least one fan--got a little too crazy yesterday at a contest between Holon (Simmons' team) and Jerusalem. A Jerusalem fan (presumably) threw a firecracker at the Holon bench. An alert security guard who tried to pick the explosive up and toss it away got his hand......

Seventeen teams showed up at the Old Pequliar last night to see if our voice would give out. We managed to get through the evening without having a Peter Brady moment, but we're grateful to those of you who were willing to step up to the mic at a moment's notice. We thought we'd produced a slightly more difficult quiz than usual, but we were proven wrong -- every team got 40 or more......

Here are three vaguely computer-related crimes taken from recent headlines in Seattle, Chicago and New England. Seattle: "Man pleads guilty in cybertheft case." A 35-year-old Seattle man has pleaded guilty in federal court to mail fraud and aggravated identity theft in a scheme that utilized peer-to-peer file-sharing programs to gain access to private information from dozens of victims. Gregory Kopiloff admitted during a plea hearing Monday that, through LimeWire and other file-sharing programs, he used......

Study up on Jesus. That was the topic for last night's hardest round at Seattlest Trivia. Average score/ 5.9 out of 10. Can you do better? 1) In 1966, the Ku Klux Klan burned Beatles records after who said the group was “more popular than Jesus now”? 2) The Depeche Mode song “Personal Jesus” was inspired by the autobiography Elvis and Me, written by whom? 3) The Jesus and Mary Chain’s song “Just Like Honey”......

Sunday afternoon turned out to be a terrific time to hit the Fremont Oktoberfest: at one o' clock it was still gray and cloudy and the crowds hadn't arrived. For $5 extra, we ended up with a total of eight tokens, good for eight 5-oz. pours. Our initial plan was to drink anything that was named "Oktoberfest," but there were only two Oktoberfest beers that weren't tapped out (or called Beck's): Lang Creek's Oktoberfest and......

The run of Intiman's To Kill a Mockingbird has been extended a second time, and it'll now run through November 10. Tickets are $27-$50. We enjoyed it more than the movie with Gregory Peck, we'll tell you that right off. Since it's part of Intiman's American Cycle -- with its helpful narrator, Mockingbird can feel like Our Town II -- the Intiman has a host of related events planned. We're intrigued by the Open Minds/Open......

Man, if the EU court that stuck it to Microsoft this weekend and Mr. and Mrs. Slowsky were in a race it would probably go off the board for betters. It's. Taking. For. Ever. The crime is Microsoft shutting out competitors by bundling Windows Media Player with Windows, which, to us at least, seems like an ancient issue. What are they going to go after Microsoft for next? Attaching round wheels to an axle? We......

Few foods are more fun – or more perfect – than xiao long bao. Originating in Shanghai, xiao long bao translates to “little basket bun,” but they are more commonly known as soup dumplings. Steamed in bamboo baskets which hold six to eight dumplings, the doughy wrappers serve as pouches for a fantastic filling of meat and meaty broth. Eat them hot, but not too hot, dipped in black vinegar with thin slivers of ginger.......

... and a $50 gift card. Back in July, a retired Methodist minister in California was accidentally scalded by a Starbucks barista. Early this month, his son Matt Smith reported on Starbucks' response in the SF Weekly: Before Dad picked up the coffee, the barista bumped it off the counter. It spilled on the front of Dad's pants, burning his crotch, then running down his legs and settling into his shoes. Instead of running to......

Some people like going to the Eatonville Pioneer Farm Museum to see the genuine 1880s cabin. For others, it's the chance to participate in the craft instructions or walk the nature trail. Arthur Lawton, however, goes to fuck the goats. Allegedly. According to court papers, says the Times, witnesses saw 63-year-old Lawton "having sex with a goat in a barn" at the museum. He was booked into Pierce County jail last night, charged with animal......

Seattlest confidant/subliterate henchman "Pete the Polak" told us a long stupid story this weekend about how a friend of a friend of his once knew Duff and this credible source claimed that it was he and not Axl who wrote the lyrics for the timeless classic "Paradise City" and that said song was based on Seattle. We immediately called horse shit on this obvious lie, but upon activating a computer we could find no evidence......

If you want to know what goes on in a particularly good creative writing workshop, the first half of First Class at ACT handily answers that question. As the brilliant bipolar poet Theodore Roethke, John Aylward delivers a blizzard of insights into the writing process, growling, stalking back and forth, and sounding like Team Poetry is down just by 10 at the half and ready to make a comeback. Poet/playwright (and former Roethke student) David......

Some guy who decided Halloween was just too fun to be only one day a year got a heavy dose of ironic justice yesterday:A Puyallup man who posed as a decorated Marine Corps captain for two years will tend graves at the Tahoma Military Cemetery in Kent as part of 500 hours of community service, a federal judge has decided. Reggie L. Buddle, 59, pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court to unlawful wearing of U.S.......

Seven years ago tomorrow, nine people died in a wet, muddy, suffocating crowd surge during a Pearl Jam show at the Roskilde Festival in Denmark. This past Tuesday, the band was back to play Copenhagen for the first time since the tragedy. Of interest to fans: Pearl Jam played The Who’s Love Reign O’er Me (below) live for the first time. Strange but true: In December 1979, 11 fans died during a suffocating crowd surge......

And in news related to what will fill the iPhones purchased at the U Village Apple Store this week: UW has announced that not only will they not protect students from file-sharing lawsuits, they will hunt them down and club them to death to protect the violated rights-holders. Ok, a shoot-on-sight order isn't in effect yet--for the time being the University of Washington will only serve legal papers to students who use the school's network......

In Seattle when your neighbor's dog won't shut up you glare out the window at nobody in particular momentarily before sliding it shut (with authority, because there's no neighborly impropriety on god's green Earth that can't be solved with a slammed window) and that's the end of it. That's not how they roll in Auburn, though. In Auburn they shoot the thing. Three men accused of shooting and killing a Chihuahua on June 11 in......

Better believe it, the 25-year reign of the Copper River salmon is over. The new king comes from the mighty Yukon River, and the architect of its ascendancy is (no real surprise) the same power-behind-the-throne, Jon Rowley. Nothing personal, the assembled court seemed to say (to the Copper) at a luncheon down at Elliott's Oyster House. You've had a remarkable run, leading Seattle diners into new realms of taste. But the new guy, well,......

Seattlest has a talk with the photographer from last week's "Segway Mom" and then experiences some dissension in the ranks over the question of wine vs. beer. It's not West Side Story, but about as close as they'll get. They're also still waiting on some inbox relief after a spammer is arrested. As Chicagoist counts down the days to its third anniversary party, they found all-organic pizza to be underwhelming amidst the hoopla, tried......

Yes, we're Folklife enthusiasts. Where else can you get a funnel cake, a hip-hop spitfest, a latin dance party, and a contest for liars, all in one place? We quoted Prince in the headline because we wouldn't be surprised if he showed up at Folklife this year. There is so much shit going on this weekend, and you don't have to drive all the way to the silly Gorge and pay through your nose......

It wasn't. At all. However. When we first heard about the Vegan parents who starved their kid to death by feeding him only apple juice and soy milk we weren't really convinced of the murder charge they'd been convicted of. We were also pretty quick to dismiss Vegan parenting as one of the lesser ideas we'd come across lately, and these particular parents as not the most complex proteins, but murderers? Then we actually read......

One day in the early 90s, then-Husky basketball coach Lynn Nance said to himself, "You know, I'm pretty happy with Prentiss Perkins and Bryant Boston at guard," and declined to offer a scholarship to a young Canadian and UW fan named Steve Nash. And a damn good thing, too. Nash, as we all saw Sunday afternoon, will do anything to stay off the court in crunchtime, including spontaneous hemophilia. Gutless. Just gutless. The 92-93 Huskies......

The only things hotter than Oakland’s NBA team are its freeways [rimshot…crickets]. But seriously folks, the eighth seed Warriors are up three games to one on the number one seed Mavericks in the opening round of the playoffs. Only two eight seeds have ever upset a number one, and if you’re currently driving a pencil into your eye then you probably know the first one. In 1994 the lowly Nuggets beat the 63-19 Sonics in......

Hot issues don't really die, ever, they just retreat underground and cool for a while before popping up in new places. Increased regulation of strip clubs was put down by voters recently by a pretty strong majority, but according to this email we just received the City Council is reintroducing some of the restrictions of the placement of new clubs in the form of a zoning ordinance. Today at 5:30 at City Hall there's a......

Kids have been getting shafted by disputes between their parents since the first caveman hired an attorney to protect his rock collection after breaking it off with the cavewoman. Or at least since the 70s--same difference. But there's a kid down in Oly who's about to suffer above and beyond what most casualties of divorce go through. His father has converted to Judaism (we're picturing Goodman in The Big Lebowski) and wants his son to......

Monday PREQUEL TO MCARTNEY'S WINGS: Richie Unterberger, the author of several books on the history of rock, shows some film footage and plays some music recordings of unreleased Beatles material. He´s promoting his latest book, The Unreleased Beatles -- Music and Film. We had no idea they were in jail! (Ha! Because of the "unreleased" -- see how...oh...sure, we can move on.) 7pm // Seattle Central Public Library Microsoft Auditorium // FREE GARDENING AT......

Arsenal: High 80s fastball, slow curve, unremarkable slider. Relies on location to get guys out. Recent Battles: Waterloo-esque. Blanton started four games against the M's last year, and beat them all four times. Twice he held the M's scoreless for 8 innings. The rest of the league had no trouble, he was 12-12 with a 5.38 ERA in starts not against Seattle. Our Best Weapon: Patience. Blanton threw less than 100 pitches (3.5 per ab)......

Florida may have won their second straight National Championship last night, however, there will be no three-pete in Gainsville. Once National Coach of the Year Tony Bennett leads his Washington Huskies back on the court in November, they might as well mail the trophy directly to Montlake. UPDATE: According to Sports Illustrated, Bennett's Huskies will have their work cut out for them. In their hella early 2007-2008 rankings they place three Pac-10 teams in......

Two people were killed in a shooting on the UW campus at 9am this morning. Medics responded to the shootings and found the victims inside Gould Hall, and the Seattle Times is reporting that campus police are investigating a murder suicide. Gould Hall is the building off 15th that houses the Dean's office, a couple of departmental offices, classrooms and the Court Cafe. Classes at Gould Hall are canceled for today.......

This morning as we were preparing for another exciting day of basketball, we were thinking back to one year ago this Saturday, when we still reeling from the most painful loss our sports fan lookin' balls had ever seen. It was about then when we caught the end of the Division II Championship Game-- Barton vs. Winona State. Hey, we live on Winona Ave. Go Winona State! That was the kiss of death for the......