Now Showing: A Guy Getting Choked For Letting His Phone Ring

A film worth choking someone over?

Don't you just hate it when some douche's iPhone is all "ring ring ring!" in a movie theatre? It's probably one of the rudest things that a stranger can passively inflict on an audience full of other strangers, and it's basically unforgivable. But is it a reason to choke a dude? Especially when the movie is "Tower Heist"?

Apparently, it is, according to KOMO, who's reporting that that's basically exactly what happened last week in Ballard, where a supremely agro guy, tired of sounds than another audience member's phone was making, eventually got sick of being huffy and shushing, and decided to take matters (and the phone guy's neck) into his own hands.

Being a good sleuth, I dug up the police report, which is a luminary piece of text. Here's the actual report, from the officer. "V." in this case is the victim/phone guy, and "S." is the agro guy.

I spoke with V. who told me the following: V caught the five o'clock showing for "TOWER HEIST." He sat a couple of seats to the right of S. During the movie, ' phone rang a couple of times and he silenced it. He checked to see who called him. S. yelled at him to "SHUT IT OFF!" V. placed the phone back into his pocket. About five minutes later, V.'s phone rang again and S. yelled at him to shut it off...S. told him, "BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT." At some point, S. leaves the theatre twice, walking past V. , and "brushing" against his legs.

After S. returns for the second time, he walks past V. and turns and grabs his throat using both hands. V. stated he could not breathe and tried to pull his arms away. V. stated it lasted for approximately 30 seconds. S. subsequently grabbed his backpack from his seat and left the theatre.

The attacker would probably have escaped...if he had not left his phone number with the manager of the theatre, because he was "also assaulted." Witnesses who were present submitted written statements, which corroborated the victim's reports.

And you thought there was no reason to see "Tower Heist."