The Seattlest Guide to Seattle Stereotypes: Part 1

"Fake Space Needle" from the Seattlest flickr pool

Whenever the Emerald City catches the eye of the (invariably East Coast-based) national media, the kind of coverage we get is depressingly formulaic. If you believe the Manhattan cognoscenti, we're a bunch of dorky, rain-soaked, sad-sack neo-hippies who are hung up on grunge music, coffee and computers and dress like schlubs, with personalities that range from deeply eccentric to full-on mentally ill. All that's holding us in suspense is whether we'll be labelled delightfully quirky or simply insufferable.

One can only imagine the rigorous journalistic process - looking up Singles on IMDB, taking in some free 30-second samples of Nirvana songs on iTunes, a quick trip to Starbucks, then a few minutes spent on Wikipedia's Seattle page for some hard facts. Add in a few Microsoft jokes, and presto! Ready in time for the morning edition. Good work, hungry reporter. You'll be editing this publication in no time.

It is our sincere hope to, at the very least, replace Wikipedia in that routine. And thus, we present this guide both as a resource for the (occasionally lazy) out-of-town journalists who cover our city, and so our fellow Seattleites may steel themselves against any future East Coast snark assaults (or just explain this place to visitors). You will find below some of the most prevalent Seattle stereotypes explained, and graded on their accuracy.

Grunge is still cool.
It's about as cool as anything else on classic rock radio. The new crop of freshmen starting classes at the UW weren't yet alive when Nevermind came out. Even most people in their 20s are barely old enough to remember the odd matted lock of hair or bolt of faded flannel. Anyone in that age group who listens to grunge is appreciating the oldies, not tapping into a still-vibrant scene.

To the hip fringes of Seattle's music scene, grunge is as much an ossified bit of local culture as Jimi Hendrix or The Kingsmen. Accuracy Grade: 1/5

Everyone wears plaid, because Seattleites don't care about fashion.
Yeah, you see a lot of plaid here. In our defense, you also see a lot of plaid in Dubuque, and Orange County, and Atlanta, and, dare I say, New York. When the rest of the country does it, it's because plaid is "so in right now," but when we do it, it's apparently a sign of our regional lack of fashion sense. More to the point- so what if we wear more plaid than average? What's the difference between a healthy expression of regional culture and a laughable local quirk?

Would you rather wear your plaid Northwest-style, and look like a frontiersman, or like these dorks? Accuracy Grade: 2/5

Seattleites are nerds.
True, this is a hub of the tech industry, and we rank high on lists like most literate and smartest cities in the country (as if that's something to be ashamed of?), but we're also apparently up there in fitness, so maybe it's a wash if we're only judging by soft-news list-making. Brandon Roy, Jason Terry, Jamal Crawford, Nate Robinson, and other Seattle stars are leading an impressive class of home-grown NBA stars (even though a local plutocrat sold away our beloved Sonics). Our Sounders have the best attendance (and most rambunctious fans) in the MLS by a large margin. The very mention of the 1995 Mariners can dampen eyes up and down the Sound. This is also a hub of outdoor sports, like rock climbing, mountaineering and kayaking.

So maybe some of us are nerds, but plenty of Seattleites, nerd and jock alike, frequent the gym and get their thrills screaming in a stadium, or dangling from a cliff face- not exactly wedgie material.Accuracy Grade: 2.5/5

People wear flannel all the time.
If the fashion police don't want us wearing it, stop telling us it's cool. Flannel is perfectly suited to Seattle's climate, and people have been wearing it here since before this was a city. If you're still not convinced, re-read the section on plaid.

Out-of-town journalists: try slogging through late Fall and Winter here, and you'll find yourself not caring what the folks back home think of your fabric choices. Accuracy Grade 4/5

Everyone in Seattle is white.
Seattle is 66% non-Hispanic white, the nation is 63% non-Hispanic white, so Seattle is about as diverse as the United States. We're no Los Angeles or New York, but it seems a little silly to call this place lily-white when one in three Seattleites doesn't fit the bill. And of course, some of those undifferentiated white masses are members of vibrant Scandinavian-, Russian-, or Italian-American communities, to name three examples.

If Seattle seems white, it's because racial minorities are being overlooked, not because they don't exist.Accuracy Grade: 1/5

That's enough home-town pride for one day. Stay tuned for future installments.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@seattlest.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Everett Rummage in Miscellaneous on September 15, 2011 1:00 PM

Comments [rss]

seakans

Coming as an office worker transplant, the PNW things that stood out for me was the women that wear no makeup or make any attempt for any hairstyle other than a pony tail or flat bob with roots showing. Think of the "American Gothic" painting and you get the idea. The men always look frail, grey beards and temples, with socks just as white as the beards wearing them **puking** with sandals!! Or black socks and white tennis shoes pulled all the way up to their knees where you see two inches of pale skin from the knees to the cargo short. Coworkers that exchanged Downy for mildewed clothes, bed hair, knock down breath, and no deodorant. Folks who walk into professional job interviews wearing Ranier Beer tshirts covered by a thin dusty nylon sport jacket and dirty loafers. Black rim glasses a +.

It's not that we despise you but you stick out like socially inept middle school kids. You dress awkward and rebel in fashion even when it's not formally appropriate (ie job interview). When I showed up in a suit, I was commended and told it was rare and this is a fortune 500 company! When asked to do tasks these two native Seattlites of the company wail and moan and throw pissing contests on how hard it is when everyone else can do it politely. You can't look someone in the eye and say hi, morning, night, goodbye. It's always a blank stare to the floor, ceiling, or wall as you walk.You locals drive funny and should be pulled over for potential DUI. You hug the white "fog line" as you guys call it doing 10 under on single lane roads. When it's 4 lane, you do 10 over to keep from getting passed but back down to 10 under when the hillbilly roads go back to single file. You merge onto freeways doing 40 and 90% do not signal. You tap brakes like a Xmas tree, with nobody in front of you, like your in some neurotic moment thinking a police car is close behind. You guys don't understand the term passing and love to create rolling roadblocks with semi-trailers. All the locals seem confused how to change a light bulb because most cars here have at least 2 burned out taillights and at least one headlight. Corollas and Saturns tend to rely on just one center mount stop lamp and call it good. Just borrow the bulb from the turn signal because you guys dont use them anyway! The state sponsored car is KIA. Car bumpers here always have road rash like United Colors of Benetton because parallel park drivers here rely on touch instead of sight. Your professional sports teams suck. Seattle has a dedicated 12th man support group that celebrates this. Completely delusional. People go to Mariners games for sunlight, food, and view of downtown skyline, not for the sport. The town closes up shop by midnight just so the town can go grab a greasy burger at Dicks. Try asking some transplants to actually describe more stereotypes than the stereotypical stereotypes you assumed we talk about.

crestdr206

"Our Sounders have the best attendance (and most rambunctious fans) in the MLS by a large margin."
-Also known as nerds.

Everett Rummage

I hadn't heard that about 98118- interesting.

but overall, excellent point: I think that's exactly why many of these groups aren't as visible as they are in other cities. Still, to me, that contributes to making Seattle FEEL white, it doesn't change the fact that 1 in 3 of us are not.

kymmitut

I would up the accuracy of Seattle being super white. Seattle does have (supposedly) the most
diverse zip code in the world in the 98118, however, outside of that I think
other areas of Seattle are off the charts white. Diversity exists here, but it is pretty
segregated.