ZooNooz: Sperm Edition (Or, Woodland Park Zoo Inseminates an Elephant)

Woodland Park Zoo's news usually ranges for "adorable" to "amazing"--but today, it's ripe for tabloid-exploding scandal. Let's begin with the photo:

Hot?

That's Chai, one of Woodland Park Zoo's Asian elephants. And those are some zookeepers, attempting to get her pregnant. And in 15-16 weeks, we'll know if the procedure was successful, and whether or not Chai has a bun in the oven. If the pregnancy is a success, the Zoo will be graced with a gigantic bundle of joy in 2013.

Another shocking aspect of this potential pregnancy is the age of Chai's babydaddy. At just 13 years old, the bull is quite a bit younger than she is. He also lives out of town, in Albuquerque, where all deadbeat elephant dads live.

We are very supportive of Woodland Park Zoo on this front, as conservation of the Asian elephant is highly important. Elephants are awesome, and we'd like them to be around forever. Critics are, Woodland Park Zoo says, concerned about the invasive nature of the procedure. However, because Woodland Park Zoo has only female elephants, and because elephants carry so few calves to term, Woodland Park Zoo assures that the procedure is necessary for the survival of the species, and that Chai was always cared for with the utmost respect and dignity.

Chai has already experienced heartbreak--she's been artificially inseminated several times before, one of which resulted in an early miscarriage. But she was well prepared for the procedure; for months prior to the insemination, Woodland Park's staff worked with her to get her ready, including loading her into the chute where she'd stand, and plying her with plenty of treats.

But then, if your gestation period was 22 months, you'd probably have to be coerced, too.