You screw one goat….
It seems like every other day some clever cartographer is cranking out a map of outstanding state stereotypes. We’ve documented them in the past, but this one really takes the cake. On a map listing the worst attributes of every state, you’ll notice the Evergreen State ranks highest for bestiality.
To be honest, there have been some pretty intense examples of getting dirty with the four-legged in our state lately, and the title may not be wholly undeserved. Residents of Enumclaw will have a long time to wait before their city stops being synonymous with man-animal love. But in true Washington fashion, we turned lemons into lemonade on that one. Have you seen Zoo? It’s hands-down one of the most beautiful documentaries ever made. Can Louisiana say the same about its gonorrhea infestation or Utah for its porno-loving ways? We doubt it.
All we can say is, let’s take this as an opportunity for self-reflection and self-improvement. Maybe we should stop cold-shouldering other humans all the time. Maybe we should ask each other on dates. Maybe we should try dressing up and looking sexy and leaving our houses once in a while. Or maybe we should just stop getting caught sticking gerbils up our asses.
