A Seattlest Etiquette Guide to Patronizing the Arts (aka Put Away Your Effing Cell Phone)
Now is the time of year when lots of people go out to enjoy a little bit of high cult-cha. Whether it's The Nutcracker at PNB, Black Nativity at the Moore or Beethoven at the Symphony, the holiday season is ripe with opportunities to get yourself out there and live it up in the city. This is a behavior of which we stand firmly in support.
Sometimes, however, we notice that people are doing the arts thing and engaging in behavior we stand firmly against. Whether it's underdressing, talking during the performance or being nasty to the good people behind the bar, bad etiquette and all-around douchery can really put the spoils on a big night out.
We don't want to come off like Niles Crane status snobs and are good people at heart, so we can only presume that ill manners are the result of simply not knowing any better. In a magnanimous display of community service we offer this humble list of suggestions to avoid being 'that guy'.
Take heed and take these to heart, the whole city sings the praises of those who act right.
DO: Dress up! A little glamor never hurt anyone and no one appreciates paying a pretty penny to sit behind a guy in a fleece. We're not demanding top hats and tiaras here, just a collared shirt and a little effort. "It's Seattle" is not an excuse. Such defeatist thinking perpetuates fashion crimes such as muddy sneakers at art galleries.
DON'T: Talk during the performance. A quick little snippet of commentary is fine, but if it's more than two sentences, you really need to save it for intermission. It's distracting and rude. It doesn't matter that you are whispering, we can still hear you.
DO: Roll with the punches. In art, as in life, not everything will go your way. Names don't end up on Will Call lists, shows start late and sometimes you have to stand in a long line to get your book signed. These are opportunities to exercise tact, patience and the sort of charming goodwill that makes lemons out of lemonade. Throwing a hissy fit inspires no favors from the real power players (box office workers, house managers and ushers) and does not impress your date. Play it cool, man.
DON'T: Use your phone at any time during the show. This one should be solidly in the "duh" file, but you'd be surprised. No texting, tweeting, status updating or email checking, at all. Only 15-year-old girls can't go for more than an hour without texting (and even they don't get a pass).
DO: Control your children. We love that people take their children to engage in arts and culture, but if your precious little angel is screaming, squirming, crying or whispering, this is a sign that they might need to take a little respite in the lobby. Everyone will be very happy with you if you do so.
DON'T: Snack attack. We were recently at a very fancy thing at no less than the opera house when someone sitting directly behind us - not even joking - opened a crinkly bag of potato chips and started crunching away. We can only assume that this person was in eminent danger of going into a diabetic coma and needed a snack. For those for whom this is the case, we suggest something noiseless. Or just wait the half hour until intermission.
DO: Try something new. Get out there and enjoy the cultural cornucopia that make this city such a wonderful place to live. But please, for the love of God, don't whistle along to Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
