Seattleite Offers Weezer $10 Million to Break Up

Seattle resident, James Burns, wants Weezer to break up and never make music again. He wants this so badly, in fact, that he has started a campaign to raise $10 million to offer Weezer as incentive to quit. We have to admit, Weezer hasn't been good since the mid-90s. But, to Weezer's credit, those two albums (The Blue Album & Pinkerton) were really really really amazing records. Burns even admits that he isn't a Weezer fan and never has been. He is doing this simply out of kindness for all the Weezer fans out there. He says, "This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now. I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year." It's true, Weezer is like a constantly disappointing boyfriend. There have been too many unforgivable offenses and the love affair is long over. We wouldn't mind if they stopped making music so we could reminisce about the good ol' days in peace.

However, we do have some quibbles with this proposal. Namely, isn't there a laundry list of other bands far worse than Weezer? Without naming names and hurting feelings (cough Nickelback), we can think of quite a few bands that should cease and desist with the whole music thing. And, honestly, would this even be happening if Weezer weren't actually good fifteen years ago? (Even Burns has to admit that "Say It Ain't So" is worthy of praise.) Also, couldn't we find a better way to spend $10 million? Like, world peace or ending hunger or getting Greece out of debt or giving kids instruments so they can make great music. Just saying.

So, what does Weezer think? Drummer, Patrick Wilson, tweeted that the band would do a deluxe break up for $20 million. Sorry, James, sounds like $10 million just ain’t going to cut it. Which means you can put down the haterade and start investing your energies (and money) into something more worthwhile.