This Mariners Suckfest Brought to You By Ambien
It's been a bit more than 24 hours since the News Tribune's Larry LaRue revealed that during a crucial pinch-hit situation in which he could've been used, on one of the worst homestands in team history, Ken Griffey Jr., former Mariners' panacea, was sound asleep in the clubhouse. Varying degrees of outrage have ensued.
The P-I's Art Thiel says it's time for Griffey to go. Others preferred a tempered analysis, pointing out Griffey does have a sleep problem, but clubhouse siestas aren't anything new. In younger days, moments after waking up, Griffey has been known to hit a home run as routinely as regular folks put their pants back on.
Still others -- apologists, sentimentalists, what have you -- have taken issue with scapegoating Griffey to explain why the rest of the team is sucking so hard. Sure, Griffey is hitting a meager .208, but there's a bunch of other professional baseball players on the team not even hitting that. And if the M's really needed Griffey to get in the game and hit that particular day, they would've just woken him up.
Two side notes:
1) Waking someone with sleep issues can be hazardous, see: Saved by the Bell - caffeine pills episode.
2) During spring training, we wrote about the Mariners' new weight training regimen, which eliminated the use of actual weights. Who thought taking weights out of WEIGHT training was smart? Was it the same guy who thought "Hey, you know what's wrong with Pepsi? The color."
But back to how to feel about Griffey. This is a tough one, and we see all sides. Griffey is the team's best player ever, and on the one hand we'd like to think, "Leave him be, he's 40 and if it wasn't for him we wouldn't even have Safeco Field so for God's sake just let the man sleep in his chair."
On the other hand, we're upset that a leader and cornerstone of morale like him would be napping with the game on the line. When baby is about to take its first steps, or kid's about to nail a solo at the recital, you don't want Dad sprawled out, mouth agape, trickling drool.
For his part, when asked today if he was asleep during the game in question, Griffey reportedly waited and stared for several (probably equally scary and awkward) seconds and said, "Anything else you want to ask?"
And now manager Don Wakamatsu says Griffey was in the dugout and available at the time.
Clearly the truth behind this will all come out at some point, not before a couple of players who served as LaRue's sources get ripped new ones for violating sacred clubhouse trust.
So add this to the team's growing list of woes as of late. What once seemed so promising not more than a month or two ago is now one problem after another.
How do you solve a problem like the Mariners?
Thinking about it is enough to make you tired, to make you just want to find a nice comfy chair in a quiet room, the muffled sound of a baseball game around you, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
