In Which Seattlest Reviews the New Uptight Seattleite Book

Dear Seattlest,
We hear the Uptight Seattleite has a new book out. What did you think of it?
- A Concerned Reader

When we go to craft fairs (using public transportation, of course), our technique is to begin examining the wares on display. Frequently, then, we become aware of one of two attitudes exhibited by the craft vendors, along with their felt kits and button belts. The first attitude is unsatisfactorily pleading. “Please purchase that,” their eyes implore. “We worked really hard on it. I’ve sacrificed so much for my art. I have the eyesight of a 95-year-old and chronic tendonitis in my right wrist.” This tends to make us a little stand-offish. Just because someone made this tampon tote doesn’t mean we are obliged to buy it! (Note: we have purchased handmade tampon totes).

The other vendor attitude is unsatisfactorily oblivious: “I could care less what you think. I’m an artist; therefore I have an enlightened spirit.” Unfortunately, this then creates a stand-off of enlightened spirits: that between the artist and those who are eager to show their Appreciation of Art (and crafts). How can you communicate that you Appreciate Art when said artist could care less what you think? Our rising panic in this situation is immediately quashed once we examine things simplistically: obviously we Appreciate Art (and crafts); why would be at the craft fair otherwise? See? And we know we go to craft fairs. They know we go to craft fairs. And now you know we go to craft fairs. We practically don’t have to buy anything made by anyone, ever, until this review ceases to exist.

What we mean to say, Concerned Reader, is that we know Seattle Weekly advice columnist The Uptight Seattleite worked very hard making his book, ha ha ha! We liked it; but then again, we tend to like things. And appreciate them.