Washington State Loses Its Tiger Woods Virginity
Remember when the first case of swine flu showed up in Washington State? Well now you can color in our little corner of America on the map of places hit by the Great STD (Salacious Tiger Drama) of 2009.
The intrepid team at Radaronline.com has discovered that Woods Mistress #11 is a deadbeat mom wanted in our state for skipping out on more than $12,000 in child support for a 10 year old. Oh, and she's also a porn star.
Veronica Siwik, photo from DSHS Web site
According to the DSHS site, her name is Veronica Siwik aka Veronica Daniels aka Joslyn James. She can be identified by a distinct lower-back tattoo collage, which includes a baby, a lion, and an angel in some clouds. There are also five lines of Asian characters, which we think either foretold the unleashing of this story on the Earth, or contain a great wonton soup recipe, we're not sure. We'll have to rent one of her movies and take a closer look.
The folks at KING 5 and the PI are on the story, and in the meantime we'd like to find whoever said "What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas" and punch them in the face. Apparently the Cascades were not enough to shield us from this plague.
Soon this scandal will infect the entire world. Basic services and communications will break down, neighbor will turn upon neighbor. Until John Cusack saves us all.
