Can't Miss It: Thursday

ARBITRARY ART: Vital 5's newest Arbitrary Art Grant happening is going down tonight. The guerrilla event is taking over part of the parking lot on the 500 block of East Pine Street (near the intersection with Summit Avenue)--the outline of an art gallery's walls will be on the ground. The trick here is to get people to show up with a work of art tied around their neck; the people stand on the lines, forming the walls of the gallery and displaying the art. One gets the $500 grant. Just don't be late.

6-7 p.m. // 500 Block, East Pine Street // free to gawk, may pay to participate!

MAKE FAKE FOOD: The impresarios down at Digital Kitchen are debuting an art show at Vermillion tonight. Taking a break from their usual job (i.e., hocking whatever they're paid to hock), they're putting on a show of the "ideas fallen" in the wake of the "creative process." And no, we don't know what that means either, but it'll probably be pretty cool. Seriously, check out the stuff on their website.

6-11 p.m. // Vermillion // 1508 11th Avenue // free!

MUFF & MUFFINS: The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence need your money. There's this thing they fund, called "Play Fair," which apparently is a sex-positive, safer-sex educational campaign that started back in the 1980s in San Francisco during the AIDS crisis. It goes without saying we still need it plenty today. So in order to continue supporting the program, which provides information and matériel, the Sisters are putting on a "Pasties, Pastry, & Poetry" event tonight at the Wildrose. It's pretty much what it sounds like: burlesque (well, boylesque) dance, naughty poems, and baked goods.

8 p.m. // Wildrose // 1021 East Pike Street // free entry