Ex-Sonic Suspended for Being Too Much Man

We know what you’re thinking: “Performance-enhancing drugs, in basketball?! It can’t be true.” Ah, but you would be wrong, and it took an ex-Sonic to prove it. Rashard Lewis, now of the Orlando Magic, was suspended for ten games by the NBA for an elevated testosterone level. Turns out he took an over-the-counter supplement after the season ended. Lewis took the news of his suspension like a testosterone-laden He-Man should. He accepted the news and suspension (did he have a choice?) and apologized to fans, teammates (who will now be tested mercilessly), and pharmacists, who will now have one less customer.