Steve Pool's Fortress Running on Fumes

"KOMO Control Room," sans Steve Pool, courtesy of Seattlest Flickr Pool ace Slightlynorth.

A week ago, news of Fisher Plaza’s fire-induced power outage came as a surprise to gullible emergency management types who were guaranteed the media "fortress" could withstand even the most modern of technological curveballs.

But in light of the present truck stop generator makeover that's sprung up on John Street, we're not so sure.

What started with one noisy generator has now blossomed into three noisy generators that have shut down an entire street. Unlike old fortresses, this one can’t withstand fire, and unlike modern fortresses, this one pollutes constantly.

As KOMO’s insatiable thirst for fossil fuels continues to grow, rumors swirl inside the Team Four newsroom that the two additional generators were called in just to maintain broadcasting capability for Steve Pool’s relentless and all-consuming mustache.

Experts fear if Fisher Plaza’s diesel lust continues to grow at the current rate, the environmental impact on Seattle will dwarf any Superfund on Harbor Island and put the combined health toll of General Hospital and Steve Pool’s daily broadcasts on par with the ugliest of Chinese refinery disasters.

We hope your love for soap opera’s and hit-or-miss weather forecasts is worth the Mexico-City air quality we’re enjoying because of KOMO’s transformation into a diesel-eating truck stop.