It's Official: We Will Never Visit Forks

Because we don't want to deal with all the Twilight freaks who have made the tiny town a vampire nerd mecca. Look, we're not sure whether to pity Forks residents for having to put up with this bullshit or envy their ingenuity in coming up with new and exciting ways to steal these idiots' money during tough economic times. Last weekend Forks hosted a Twilight summer school, complete with "an actual, REAL Prom in the Forks High Gym featuring performances by three of the original and premiere Twilight bands," whatever that means. What could be better than Vampire Mormon prom: pasty skin, magic underwear, big messy hair, and no sex whatsoever?