Let's Look for the Purple Banana Until They Put Us in the Truck!
Normal morning, normal bus ride, with normal people. A normal-looking woman sitting on a bench seat across from us. Our eyes close periodically. We're tired. All is quiet and normal. Until...
Normal-looking woman: "Why's everyone so quiet?"
Internal: Shit. Here we go. One of these people who feels it's their duty to cheer everyone up.
A few polite smiles. No one answers. A few moments go by.
Normal-looking, annoying woman: "How come no one's smiling?"
Internal: Would you shut the fuck up, please?
More polite smiles followed by more people closing their eyes, pretending to sleep. A moment passes.
Normal-looking, really annoying woman: "Why did you all allow yourselves to become slaves?"
Internal: Fuck.
We get our headphones out, not trying at all to be discreet. Begin listening to NPR.
Normal-looking-but-totally-crazy woman: (Begins singing, quietly at first) "Jesus loves me, this I know..." (and then much much louder) "...for the Bible tells me so!"
Internal: Shit, shit, shit. Listen lady, you're obviously out of your mind, so we'll cut you some slack, but you're not a very good singer.
She sings and she sings, becoming louder as the bus approaches the first downtown stop at Convention Place. She gets off the bus, looks around like she's confused about where she is, and we hope she gets wherever she's going. Goodbye, crazy lady. And good luck.
