Kasey Keller Hates Goals
Sounders striker Fredy Montero scored a tremendous goal in the team's tie at New York on Saturday. He stole the ball from a Red Bulls defender in the corner, dribbled back toward the box, then unleashed a cannon of a shot. "I think it's got to be one of the candidates for Goal of the Week," said Sounders coach Sigi Schmid.
(In fact, it is, and as we write Montero is leading the voting.)
Sounders goalie Kasey Keller? Not impressed.
"It was a great goal but it was still a mistake...from the defender. I think sometimes we forget that the game is about results and I would love to have nice pretty football but sometimes the right thing to do is to kick it into the 10th row."
GODDAMN STRAIGHT! Do you think the fans come out to see goals? NO! They want to see defenders cowardly hammering the ball deep into the stands! And then, more likely that not, collapsing as if they have suffered an Endy-Chavez-like knee injury.
Kasey Keller is such a defense-oriented hard-ass, he can't even enjoy his own teammate's goal.
Not that we're surprised. There's a train of thought in soccer--one which pervades hockey, football, and basketball as well--that any score by the other team is the fault of a defensive lapse.
More and more coaches in these sports are defensive-oriented; some don't have a clue about offense (see the Cavs' Mike Brown, who had to hire a special offensive assistant). Other coaches see the role of offense as mainly to not commit turnovers that could hurt the defense--we hate to do it, but you have to lump Nate McMillan in with this group.
Fortunately for us, the Sounders are not afflicted with such a coach. If Sigi Schmid has a offense/defense bias, I suspect he tends more toward offense. Hence we get fast-paced games like last Wednesday's thrilling 3-3 draw with D.C. United.
If Keller were coach, we'd see just as many draws, except they'd be 0-0 ones.
The offense/defense dichotomy will be something to watch with this year's Seahawks. Going from an offensive-minded head coach in Holmgren to a defensive-minded head coach in Jim Mora will likely means less risks on offense. We've already seen some of the changes, as the new offensive staff is a run-first, pass-second one.
Meanwhile, we'd ask Keller to heed the wise words of Michael Cera's character in Superbad:
