Washington: "The Sex with Animals State"

It's been nearly four years since the Enumclaw horse sex case gripped the city's attention (and that of our city's Marxist film reviewers).

But, despite the bestiality ban passed by lawmakers in response, our state's animals are no safer.

Ask Lewis County resident Troy Whitson's two malamutes, the victims of Whitson's taking his role as "master" a smidge too seriously. Now both Whitson and the malamutes have new homes--the dogs with different owners, Whitson in the Lewis County jail. He gets 30 days in the pokey for his inter-species poking.

Prosecutors say they learned of the crime from two of Whitson's friends in the Furry community, who saw the crime and evidently were jealous of the animals. (We kid, Furries--keep living the dream!)

Meanwhile, we must appeal to the legislature to increase the penalty for bestiality: we're thinking a 20-year mandatory minimum with castration at the judge's discretion.