Ken Griffey Jr. in "The Nickels Dilemma"

Ken Griffey Jr. remains the Mariners' designated hitter, despite being one of the ten worst hitters in the major leagues. Why isn't Junior's job in jeopardy? Primarily because the M's don't have anyone better.

Ken Griffey Jr. is the Greg Nickels of Seattle sports.

Like the alternatives to Nickels, the alternatives to Griffey aren't appealing:

Backup DH Mike Sweeney is pretty much the same as Griffey (so, he's Jan Drago).
Jeff Clement, currently conducting his annual evisceration of Pacific Coast League pitching, has done some decent work in the bush leagues, but what has he done under the spotlight? (Michael McGinn)
Young slugger Michael Saunders seems appealing, but doesn't have a single major league at bat (James Donaldson).
And the best candidate out there, Barry Bonds, would never win the job because the MAN doesn't trust him (Krist Novoselic).

Here's the weird part: Griffey's derided nationally, yet wildly popular among Seattleites. Nickels--whose job security depends on public support--is lauded nationally, and unpopular locally.

Only two possible conclusions can be drawn from this information:
1) Seattleites are stupid.
2) Ken Griffey Jr. should be mayor; Greg Nickels designated hitter of the Mariners.

This is not the first time Griffey's benefited from Mariner suckitude.

When his stellar 1989 spring made the club consider him for the starting centerfield job, their decision was made easier by the fact that the other candidates were light-hitting speedster Henry Cotto and the unstintingly mediocre Mike Kingery.

Sure, Griffey'd had an amazing spring, but if the Mariners actually had a decent centerfielder, he would've spent 1989 with the Calgary Cannons--which would've given him an extra year with Jay Buhner, anyway.

Not that we're complaining--we loved watching Griffey grow in '89 (he only hit .264, and, OPS-wise, Greg Briley actually had the better year), and we don't mind watching him in his decline. Circle of life, people; circle of life.

Speaking of 1989 and circles...

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By Seth in Miscellaneous on June 2, 2009 2:00 PM

Comments [rss]

jwhieger

The SLUT was like Carlos Silva, Jeff Cirillo and Miggy Batista all rolled into one. Remember folks those guys were/are worthless, so is the SLUT, unless you are one of the two tourists who ride it a day.

PS- I defy you to find a Mariner with better hair than Henry Cotto.

BigGreenFrank

"Nickels wants to buy the city 100 Carlos Silvas. "

I like the perspective that puts the tunnel idea into!

eday

Unlike Clement, who nonetheless deserves Griffey's job, Michael McGinn has done plenty under the spotlight. Over the last two years, he's been behind two campaigns that have profoundly impacted the future of transportation and land use policy in the Puget Sound region. We'll get light rail expansion without being forced to build hundreds of miles of new roads, and we'll get it sooner. He's already made his mark.

Now Greg Nickels is planning to throw a billion dollars of city money at a tunnel that is a worse investment than Carlos Silva. The M's are paying Silva $10 million dollars to sit on the bench, because when he pitches, it's a guranteed loss. Nickels wants to buy the city 100 Carlos Silvas. Sounds like a bad plan to me.

I'd say the rest of the country is a lot smarter about Griffey than they are about Nickels, whose national popularity is a result of grandstanding, not achievement.

Bench Nickels.