Starbucks Spreads the Word on Burlap

In the beginning, the word was carved on tablets. Eventually, gospels were inscribed on parchment, then newsprint, then pixelated onto the screens of iPhones. Now the medium is the gunney sack and Starbucks is firing back.

Under withering attack from the likes of McDonald's new Mickey-Come-Lately McCafe, Uncle Howard has launched a print-and-internet counteroffensive. On a background of burlap, the print ads proclaim "Starbucks or Nothing. Because compromise leaves a really bad aftertaste." (Take that, Mickey!) Says another, "If your coffee isn’t perfect, we’ll make it over. If it’s still not perfect, make sure you're in a Starbucks." (Take that, Dunkin!)

With sales down eight percent, we're not sure that appeals to fanatic idealism are going to be effective; this is the realpolitik world of Obama's artful compromises, after all. Will feel-good ads showcasing Starbucks's "coffee ethic" (shade-grown coffee purchased at premium prices from Third World growers; health-care and benefits for part-time baristas) be enough to convince thirtysomethings to buy more lattes? Hard to predict. Meantime, Starbucks is recruiting fans on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube to spread the word. Registration required.

This high-minded, with-it campaign seems divorced from what's happening in the stores themselves, where it's all about value deals, iced coffee for two bucks, latte & lunch. All those global vice presidents seem to be spinning off into worlds of their own, proof that a roomful of monkeys with typewriters will not, by themselves, compose Hamlet.