When a Bear Visits Your School

"bear" courtesy of Seattlest Flickr Pool member mraaronmorris

Shoreline Schools has just released what we think is their first-ever guide to their newest ursine drop-in student. Sounds like they're taking an anti-bullying stance: "This morning a jogger reported seeing a bear behind Kellogg/Shorecrest headed into the Hamlin Park woods. Yesterday afternoon it was reportedly seen near Parkwood in the Twin Ponds area. As reported on the news, this type of bear is not a threat to people unless cornered. Our students have been advised to stay away from the bear if sighted."

Officials haven't been able to round the animal up yet, which may be because of confusion over which Twitter account--@seattlebear or @TheSeattleBear--is the real account. Just another example of how Twitter impersonations can go too far. Follow the complete #seattlebear conversation here.

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By MvB in News on May 19, 2009 1:45 PM

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Troy Morris

I'm glad you posted this because I literally just finished reading this Times article and wanted an excuse to link to it and say how much I miss the P-I as a real paper:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2009237070_webbear19m.html

MvB

Hey, that's Erik Lacitis you're dissing, Troy. He will kick your punk ass. Also, at least he's not an unscrupulous fat cat. However, I miss the P-I newspaper, too. And on Saturdays I keenly miss the Bad Reporter comic.

Troy Morris

Wait. I just read that. Are you inferring that I am an unscrupulous fat cat? I have scruples.

You know, you treat me like a child. No worse than that. You treat me like one of those little pageant girls with the clip on teeth.

No. Do not apologize. In fact, everyone? Everyone gather round. Actor announcement. I want to publicly thank you, MvB, for you have shown me, that in today’s world, everyone should be treated exactly the same. No one should get preferential treatment.

MvB, I’m not an expert, but I do have a strong opinion. Seattle, as we know it, will no longer exist tomorrow.

Look. I grew up here, MvB, in the days before Starbuck. And if Wall St crashes, it’ll be the 1970’s all over again. People will get mean. The streets won’t be safe. It’ll be graffiti everywhere. And the movies will only cost 3 dollars.

Ahhhhh. I renounce everything. Cover your brain.

MvB

I hope to *god* you're coming to Happy Hour at Licorous, Troy.

Troy Morris

I'll try to remember to bring a print out of the Tracy Jordan quotes. Perhaps I'll put them onto note cards and laminate them.

Troy Morris

I'm sorry for dissing a distinguished independent business owner, but making a whole separate line for a "Watch out! Just kidding." joke about a bear sleeping in your, cliche Washington shrub is a tad much. But I could forgive that if it wasn't for the fact that he illuded to approving of Urban Phantom.

Leif Bearikson is so much cooler.