Mariners Open Season, Can't Get Much Worse
New manager Don Wakamatsu and general manager Jack Zduriencik are in charge of fixing the giant mess inflicted by everyone involved with the team since Lou Pinellia and Pat Gillick left seven years ago.
Let’s say that in 2002 you were perfectly healthy, then Bill Bavasi tied you down and spent six years forcing junk food down your throat, while making you sit on a couch watching Jim Belushi’s TV show. It would take a while for you to return to your 2002 form.
That is where the Mariners are. It’s going to take a few seasons for Zduriencik’s plan make the team healthy again. We like his off-season trades, and that he is in charge of the team’s number two overall draft pick. He seems like he knows what is going on, and is not, say, a clueless sack of shit.
Ken Griffey, Jr., is back, and we don’t care if he hits .240, just seeing him in a Mariner uniform has us Lizzing.
Erik Bedard and Adrian Beltre will probably be traded by July 31. Hopefully, Jarrod Washburn will go as well. They don’t even have to trade him; they can just leave him behind the counter at a Panda Express, or pretend to throw a tennis ball and drive off when he tries to find it.
Did we mention Griffey is back!?!
Who knows how long Ichiro will be out for, hopefully all will be well by the 16th, but the man was bleeding from his ulcer.
Some people seem to have a problem with Ichiro, whether it’s fans or other players. We think this is stupid, when a team losses 100 games it’s not the fault of the best player. Ichiro is amazing, and we should all enjoy watching him play before Mothra eats him. Also, when the Mariners were winning with players who had actual personalities (Buhner, Cameron, etc.) everyone seemed fine with him.
Speaking of which, JJ Putz and Raul Ibanez are gone. Putz was the "funny guy" in the clubhouse, so it’s no wonder everyone hated it in there. Ibanez has always been a good player on bad teams. The one time he was on a good team, the 2000 Mariners, he stunk out loud, so good luck with that Phillie fans.
Sure, 2009 will be a re-building year, but last year was rock bottom (right?), and things can’t get worse (right?).
