Oscar! The Awards Preview

We are less excited about the Oscar’s this year because of the lack of a funny host. Chris Rock (hooray), Jon Stewart (hooray), Hugh Jackman (?). Sure the guy is fricking hot, and he can sing and dance--we, however, want jokes.

Plus, he isn’t from here. Gross.

We have correctly picked the Best Picture on Seattlest the past four years. So here we go again. How do we do this? Well, we see each of the five nominated films, and then analyze them based on a series of numbers, trends, and past winners.

Plus as an added bonus, you can vote for which film you want to win Best Picture by making the corresponding meal on Sunday night.

Milk: This was by far our favorite of the five nominated films. Great direction, great acting, great writing, and an amazing story. We’re not going to lie; it got a little dusty at the Egyptian on Tuesday night. Who knew that City Councilmembers could actually, you know, do stuff. If this film doesn’t win we are going to lead a crowd through the streets to San Francisco’s City Hall. Meal: Pour some milk in a...wait for it...sourdough bowl.

Slumdog Millionaire: The second of the five films that we feel is Best Picture-worthy. However, you’re telling us, that this movie wouldn’t have been better had they used Family Feud? Quick language lesson: "सर्वेक्षण उक्त" is Hindi for "Survey says!" Meal: We’re not sure how authentic this is, but whenever we get Indian food we practically OD on mango curry chicken (and heroin).

Frost/Nixon: When we saw this movie, we were wearing sweatpants (a tennis date that never happened) and had to pee like a French race horse (a tennis date that never happened). We liked it, didn’t love it. Sam Rockwell needs to make more comedies and not play sourpuss hippies. Meal: Take one part David Frost’s English heritage and one part Richard Nixon and make spotted dick.

The Reader: Reader? I don’t even know her. We didn’t see this one--even its Wikipedia page bored us. Meal: Make bratwurst and sauerkraut, just make sure you follow the directions.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Didn’t see this one either, the thing is three hours long and (Joke Stolen From A Deadspin Commenter Alert) it makes us think of Greg Oden. Meal: Here is a two-bird-one-stone idea--since the film is set in Louisiana make chicken gumbo, then save the leftovers for Mardi Gras on Tuesday. As for Monday, hunger strike.

Check back Monday for our prediction.