Super Bowl vs. Cooking (Primanti Brother's Sandwiches)

We’ve watched every Super Bowl since XXII.

Well, we didn’t so much watch the game three years ago, so much as have a four-hour-long panic attack, as the Seahawks and referees handed the game to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Now the Steelers are back in the Super Bowl, and we’re all supposed to forget that game ever happened. Well, to quote a stereotypical version of my Grandfather Ted, “Not bloody likely, old chum.”

Many of our Seahawk fan brethren are still bitter, jealous, and whiny about the Steelers, and we aren’t gonna let go just because our “division rival” is in the Super Bowl.

Sure, one could make the argument that in 2006 western Pennsylvania was a desolate and barren land, home to every unemployed, down-on-their-luck person east of the Mississippi, so in the end they deserved to get that little morsel of joy in their lives.

Now Seattle, and everyone else in the world, have the same unemployment problems as Pittsburgh, so they don’t deserve dick any more.

However, not everything from Pittsburgh is completely depressing. For example, Primanti Brother’s Sandwiches.

These sandwiches consists of grilled meat, coleslaw, mayonnaise, tomatoes, and French fries, between two fat slices of Italian bread. We’ve been wanting one ever since we received that heart transplant.

They’ve been a staple of Pittsburgh cuisine since the 1930s, at first feeding steel workers, and now filling the expanding stomachs of tourists and late night drunks (much like your mother…you’ve just been Seattlested).

What appeals to us the most about these sandwiches is they don’t have just any coleslaw; it's vinegar based. We’re gonna take us some shredded cabbage, and soak it over night.

Our choice of meat is still up in the air. You can use anything grilled from chicken to bockwurst. Since we are who we are, we are leaning towards ham.

[LOUD TURKEY CALL]

That noise means it’s time for our completely unfair, borderline insane, rant of the week: It’s quite possible the only time we rooted for the world financial crisis was when we saw all those Frenchmen in the streets protesting. Hey, Jean-Luc, how about you work more than twenty hours a week, besides, aren’t their some North Africans you can blame your problems on, it's always worked for you in the past. End rant.

We’ll be at our friend’s house rooting for the Cardinals, and wondering how much Kelly Jennings and Marcus Trufant are pooping themselves every time they watch Larry Fitzgerald out-jump some poor Steeler defender.

We’ll report back on Tuesday and if you’re looking for something else to watch besides five hours of pre game coverage, why not try and make the stuff as well. Then we can all compare notes as our fathers stare at us disapprovingly.

Go Not the Steelers!

Contact the author of this article or email tips@seattlest.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By David in Food on January 30, 2009 1:00 PM

Comments [rss]

BigGreenFrank

Go home, ya freakin Yinza!!

And David, go with pastrami.

SteelersGirl

OK, my bad. Hoist by my own petard!

The game's Sunday, not Saturday. But the Cardinals are welcome to show up on Saturday and wait around ...

We may have Jeff Reed, but we also have Big Ben and Hines Ward. And the ghost of Myron Cope. How can we not win?

Troy Morris

Oh poor Stealers Gurl.

You have Jeff Reed.

eventer266

I hate to point out the obvious, SteelersGirl, but not only did you look at this very website, you bothered to comment. It's spelled S-E-A-T-T-L-E-S-T, not S-E-A-T-T-L-E-I-S-T.

Audrey

ZING!

davidswidler

Oops, we have corrected the misspelling.

Sorry about that Steelers Girl, and good luck on Saturday.

SteelersGirl

FYI, it's P*ri*manti, not P*ir*manti. You even LINKED to it, which means you've seen it spelled correctly.

And the Cardinals are going down on Sunday, just like the Seahawks did three years ago; not because of officiating but because the Steelers are a better team.

Get OVER it, Seattle, and stop pretending this is a sports town, because it isn't. This city is plagued by fair-weather fans and mediocre teams.

I can assume Seattleist has never been to Western Pennsylvania, either. You might try a visit before labeling it a "desolate and barren land, home to every unemployed, down-on-their-luck person east of the Mississippi". You'll be pleasantly surprised by the friendly and outgoing people in Pittsburgh (so very different from how Seattleites treat strangers), and you can have a real Primanti Brother's sandwich, which you will never be able to replicate at home.

GO STEELERS!