You Can't Do This In Chicago
People like to flaunt their provincial superiority and yammer on about bad Seattle drivers especially in weather like this. (We're looking at you, fellow transplants and ex-pats.) Yeah, whatever. Screw you jerks.
This Seattlest is in the Midwest at the moment and—though metaphysically cleansed by the hard work—our back is a bit sore from all that snow we just shoveled. Looking at these pictures in our Flickr pool made us realize that what makes us give Seattle's snow drivers a wide berth creates the blessing of an excellent (and cheap!) snow day diversion.
It also makes us better able to mock the Midwest's unfortunate topographic poverty. You can't do this over there because there are no fucking hills. In Cook County, the Forest Preserve District (because there are no other native forests left) closed down their toboggan slides years ago. And even if you tried sledding down the street, you'd only end up with a faceful of corrosive road salt.
So next time some chump pokes fun of Seattle for not being able to handle the snow, punch them. Ask them what's so important anyway: work? Then, punch them again to make sure they got the point.
Photographs courtesy of Suzanne Asprea.
