Seattlest: The Weather People Need to be Punched in the Neck

PiscusFiche

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 15:12:35 -0800

As Lewis Black says, "In Latin, meteorologist means 'liar'. "

AJ808

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:40:34 -0800

I think the weather people rely on the magic 8 ball (you take that any way you want) and just change what will be "dumping" (mostly bullshit) to match the season. Steve hasn't and doesn't age. He looks THE EXACT SAME since I was in fourth grade (I'm now in 5th jk;). Seriously. I've met him many times throughout the years (school, komo functions, fundraisers..). I think his face is made of wax, or maybe space-aged plastic? At least Komo's set for another 100 years on a weather man. Walter Kelly. Now I thought he already was punched in the neck/head area, (??) but then I remembered that was Adam Ghehrke. (Anyone else remember?) So Walter is still in the clear for a swift punch. Although he's sweet and feeds you crap with a smile. Rebecca is hot..so she's off limits. Rich. Hmm. I got nothing. I gave up a long time ago (I moved). Here is the scoop: It's cold people. It's dark. The only two weeks of summer are in August. It pretty much always rains on the fourth of July. Once a year a windstorm wipes out the power. The rain is constant and heavy in the fall causing floods. Okay, now you know.. and of course "knowing is half the battle".

partyfernandez

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 07:32:27 -0800

i don't. cuz it doesn't change how wrong they were for the previous 36 hours.

brettj

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:31:47 -0800

Do you feel like a jackass this morning?

mbq

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 03:24:42 -0800

Oops, you pick when it starts, but it has to start +7 days from now. The best would be if you can predict high/low, precipitation, and cloud cover 2 weeks out.

mbq

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 03:21:58 -0800

armchair meteorologists are the worst. no training, no knowledge of the nuances of geography and weather fronts, and always post-predicting the weather. David Swindler, I challenge you to a contest, and you get to pick when it starts. Predict the precipitation and high/low temperature 7 days out (and show your math or gut independent of NOAA or any local media meteorologist), and I will choose the average of KOMO/KING/NOAA/other media, and you will lose this contest. Let's start on Monday, 29 DEC, and go for a week. Loser buys all that the winner can reasonably drink at a previously-agreed upon establishment (Kai's in the U-dist?).

moose4you

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:44:59 -0800

thank you thank you thank you my sentiments exactly, although you are much funnier thanks for the laugh

bigtimetopbanana

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:25:19 -0800

I swear I just heard Rebecca Stevenson on Kiro7 say "one hundredth of an inch" for Seattle...... shite, that is one hell of a storm.

bilco

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:17:47 -0800

How many times do you have to be burned to realize that it ain't gonna happen? My rule of thumb - apocalyptic prediction, so what? But every night that there is no prediction and its cloudy and chilly, I go huddle next to the pet coyote.

TroyJMorris

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:03:39 -0800

Does anyone really think the weather report crap is subject only to this location? I think Nick Cage would disagree.

jseattle

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:43:21 -0800

At the root of all of this is the charade of media weather reporting. Would be cool if just one of them would cut the crap and start dealing with the way the, um, science seems to work -- models and probability. That's why this forecast discussion is my favorite weather read http://www.atmos.washington.edu/data/disc_report.html I'm ok with fuzziness and hedging if I understand the method. The certainty of TV weather reporting is the worst kind of BS. Fortunately this kind of crap is dying out.

fdg

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:52:43 -0800

@simonian - I don't really have a grudge against Walter Kelley, I mostly thought it was funny.

madamecrow

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:45:20 -0800

@jessejb--Not yet unfortunately (at least in any official release capacity), but we do have Almost Live!: Greatest Hits and Almost Live's Guide To Living In Seattle on good old VHS for rent at Scarecrow.

lovejoy76

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:44:20 -0800

That has to be the funniest thing I've read on Seattlest since I've started reading. Thanks for making my day.

lovejoy76

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:42:38 -0800

That has to be the funniest thing I've read on Seattlest since I've started reading. Thanks for making my day.

Simonian

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:25:43 -0800

@herbisara - that's the only totally valid reason to complain about no snow that I've heard all day. I feel for you.

herbisara

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:20:57 -0800

I'm totally bummed it didn't snow. In anticipation of a snow day, I had WAY too many drinks last night. Imagine my disappointment when I woke up to find dry streets and business as usual. Damn.

jessejb

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:06:29 -0800

@madamecrow Does "Almost Live" the complete seasons on DVD exist yet? I can has?

Simonian

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:56:30 -0800

@partyfernandez - fdg has a personal grudge. I'm just anti-FOX news generally.

tnight

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:42:08 -0800

So I confess to being a long-distance Seattle-ite who lives about 40 miles out of town, but there's plenty of snow here! About 6" so far and counting.

madamecrow

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:22:33 -0800

I remember this happening once when I was in high school--big doom and snowy gloom predictions, zero flakes. That Saturday Almost Live! had a recurring sketch where local weathermen predicted things like snow tornadoes and snow mixed with cheese. I've been trying to find it on YouTube all day!

partyfernandez

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:12:06 -0800

sounds like SOMEone (pointing at 'Simonian') has been hurt by Walter Kelley in the past. that dude should not showcase his forehead (or, dare i say, ninehead). that thing's freaking HUGE!!)

srsly

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:11:06 -0800

i totally called shenannigans on this snowpocalypse this morning. i'm kinda disappointed too. the subaru wanted to go find an empty parking lot to do donuts in. now it's going to be all pouty and disappointed on the drive home.

Simonian

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:03:06 -0800

Excuse me, but what is the big deal? My god, people! It snows or it doesn't. If it does, you deal with it. Lack of snow does not justify vilification of Steve, Jeff, et al. (Well, maybe Walter Kelley's ok to vilify, but that's it.) If you've lived here more than one full seasonal rotation you already know that the weather is inherently unpredictable most of the time, yet the local media will usually predict the worst possible weather. Act accordingly.

TroyJMorris

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:03:04 -0800

SNOWMAGEDDON And David, tell Abbey to send me a gift certificate or something.

partyfernandez

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:57:23 -0800

yesterday i said to my girlfriend "they keep saying it's going to be a 'storm'. if it was going to be 5 degrees warmer, it'd be a 'day it rained in seattle'. can 5 degrees really make it a storm?" she, much like all of you, got confused and quickly lost interest in my tirade. but seriously, i HATE our local media's tendency to freak out and call everything 'storm'. IF, and that's proving to be a big if, they had been right, we would have gotten 1-3" of snow. that's not a storm, that's called winter. assholes. oh, and to 'lattefan', i present exhibit A: Kenji Johjima. (cold) SNAP!

fdg

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:51:48 -0800

Walter Kelley once cut in front of me at Interbay. For that he has lost all credibility in my eyes.

davidswidler

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:33:29 -0800

I wish I could take credit, that joke belongs to Abbey, my friend's sister, and the people of Zylor Electronics Inc.

chadk

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:27:26 -0800

Careful... Once one punches his or her first throat, it's quite difficult to stop.

TroyJMorris

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:25:25 -0800

People who still listen and believe weatherFOLK should be punched in the neck. Steve Pool, you are an un-aging robot, so we are scared of you Because of that, David, you owe me a cup of coffee. I spewed mine out my fucking nose.

lattefan

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:24:49 -0800

AMEN! The weather forecasters in this town are total hacks. In what other job can you be wrong 80% of the time and stay employeed?

mbq

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:24:09 -0800

#include «stdweatherrant.h»

Audrey

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:23:57 -0800

Co-sign on any and all neck-punching!

jessejb

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:19:16 -0800

Yesterday I was looking at the satellite and thinking "How in the hell are those little clouds over the Pacific going to cause a snowstorm? And dont clouds blowing over the pacific that fast cause things to warm up? Theres no way we're getting snow tomorrow." Looking for a weatherman, KING5???