Seattlest Pix 09Nov20
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Jeff Renner, stop talking.
Rebecca Stevenson, go away.
Rich Marriott, you couldn't tell the difference between a cumulonimbus calvus and a basset hound in a sweater.
Walter Kelly, who the fuck are you? Sorry, we haven't watched KCPQ news since Rod Simmons stopped doing sports.
Steve Pool, you are an un-aging robot, so we are scared of you.
This is our impression of you guys the past few days: "Oh it's gonna snow, oh well it didn't snow but tomorrow it's gonna dump, well just a trace, oh it missed us but tomorrow afternoon it's finally going to arrive, sorry tonight, tonight it's going to arrive."
Is this a weather system or the 5:45 to LAX? (rimshot)
Um, um, um, the reason it didn't snow is because the Olympic Mountains blocked us. Really, then how come you didn't mention this yesterday? The Olympic Mountains were there yesterday, they were there the day before that, they've been there every day for the past 6,000 years. How did this sneak up on you guys?
Do you wake up every morning and ask, "How can I ruin everyone's day? I know, I'll predict snow for tomorrow!"
Admit it, you don't know what you are doing, do you? You're just a glorified guesser who couldn’t pass your biochemistry classes.
For chrissake, the schools in town are closed. Every child got a well-deserved Cloud Day.
One more thing, it's not news when there is snow in the mountains, they are fucking mountains. There is always snow on the mountains--that is why they put the ski resorts on them.
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Yesterday I was looking at the satellite and thinking "How in the hell are those little clouds over the Pacific going to cause a snowstorm? And dont clouds blowing over the pacific that fast cause things to warm up? Theres no way we're getting snow tomorrow."
Looking for a weatherman, KING5???
Co-sign on any and all neck-punching!
#include «stdweatherrant.h»
AMEN! The weather forecasters in this town are total hacks. In what other job can you be wrong 80% of the time and stay employeed?
People who still listen and believe weatherFOLK should be punched in the neck.
Because of that, David, you owe me a cup of coffee. I spewed mine out my fucking nose.
Careful... Once one punches his or her first throat, it's quite difficult to stop.
I wish I could take credit, that joke belongs to Abbey, my friend's sister, and the people of Zylor Electronics Inc.
Walter Kelley once cut in front of me at Interbay. For that he has lost all credibility in my eyes.
yesterday i said to my girlfriend "they keep saying it's going to be a 'storm'. if it was going to be 5 degrees warmer, it'd be a 'day it rained in seattle'. can 5 degrees really make it a storm?" she, much like all of you, got confused and quickly lost interest in my tirade.
but seriously, i HATE our local media's tendency to freak out and call everything 'storm'. IF, and that's proving to be a big if, they had been right, we would have gotten 1-3" of snow. that's not a storm, that's called winter. assholes.
oh, and to 'lattefan', i present exhibit A: Kenji Johjima. (cold) SNAP!
SNOWMAGEDDON
And David, tell Abbey to send me a gift certificate or something.
Excuse me, but what is the big deal? My god, people! It snows or it doesn't. If it does, you deal with it. Lack of snow does not justify vilification of Steve, Jeff, et al. (Well, maybe Walter Kelley's ok to vilify, but that's it.) If you've lived here more than one full seasonal rotation you already know that the weather is inherently unpredictable most of the time, yet the local media will usually predict the worst possible weather. Act accordingly.
i totally called shenannigans on this snowpocalypse this morning. i'm kinda disappointed too. the subaru wanted to go find an empty parking lot to do donuts in. now it's going to be all pouty and disappointed on the drive home.
sounds like SOMEone (pointing at 'Simonian') has been hurt by Walter Kelley in the past.
that dude should not showcase his forehead (or, dare i say, ninehead). that thing's freaking HUGE!!)
I remember this happening once when I was in high school--big doom and snowy gloom predictions, zero flakes. That Saturday Almost Live! had a recurring sketch where local weathermen predicted things like snow tornadoes and snow mixed with cheese. I've been trying to find it on YouTube all day!
So I confess to being a long-distance Seattle-ite who lives about 40 miles out of town, but there's plenty of snow here! About 6" so far and counting.
@partyfernandez - fdg has a personal grudge. I'm just anti-FOX news generally.
@madamecrow
Does "Almost Live" the complete seasons on DVD exist yet? I can has?
I'm totally bummed it didn't snow. In anticipation of a snow day, I had WAY too many drinks last night. Imagine my disappointment when I woke up to find dry streets and business as usual. Damn.
@herbisara - that's the only totally valid reason to complain about no snow that I've heard all day. I feel for you.
That has to be the funniest thing I've read on Seattlest since I've started reading.
Thanks for making my day.
That has to be the funniest thing I've read on Seattlest since I've started reading.
Thanks for making my day.
@jessejb--Not yet unfortunately (at least in any official release capacity), but we do have Almost Live!: Greatest Hits and Almost Live's Guide To Living In Seattle on good old VHS for rent at Scarecrow.
@simonian - I don't really have a grudge against Walter Kelley, I mostly thought it was funny.
At the root of all of this is the charade of media weather reporting. Would be cool if just one of them would cut the crap and start dealing with the way the, um, science seems to work -- models and probability. That's why this forecast discussion is my favorite weather read
http://www.atmos.washington.edu/data/disc_report.html
I'm ok with fuzziness and hedging if I understand the method. The certainty of TV weather reporting is the worst kind of BS. Fortunately this kind of crap is dying out.
Does anyone really think the weather report crap is subject only to this location?
I think Nick Cage would disagree.
How many times do you have to be burned to realize that it ain't gonna happen?
My rule of thumb - apocalyptic prediction, so what? But every night that there is no prediction and its cloudy and chilly, I go huddle next to the pet coyote.
I swear I just heard Rebecca Stevenson on Kiro7 say "one hundredth of an inch" for Seattle...... shite, that is one hell of a storm.
thank you thank you thank you
my sentiments exactly, although you are much funnier
thanks for the laugh
armchair meteorologists are the worst. no training, no knowledge of the nuances of geography and weather fronts, and always post-predicting the weather.
David Swindler, I challenge you to a contest, and you get to pick when it starts. Predict the precipitation and high/low temperature 7 days out (and show your math or gut independent of NOAA or any local media meteorologist), and I will choose the average of KOMO/KING/NOAA/other media, and you will lose this contest. Let's start on Monday, 29 DEC, and go for a week. Loser buys all that the winner can reasonably drink at a previously-agreed upon establishment (Kai's in the U-dist?).
Oops, you pick when it starts, but it has to start +7 days from now. The best would be if you can predict high/low, precipitation, and cloud cover 2 weeks out.
Do you feel like a jackass this morning?
i don't. cuz it doesn't change how wrong they were for the previous 36 hours.
I think the weather people rely on the magic 8 ball (you take that any way you want) and just change what will be "dumping" (mostly bullshit) to match the season.
Steve hasn't and doesn't age. He looks THE EXACT SAME since I was in fourth grade (I'm now in 5th jk;). Seriously. I've met him many times throughout the years (school, komo functions, fundraisers..). I think his face is made of wax, or maybe space-aged plastic? At least Komo's set for another 100 years on a weather man.
Walter Kelly. Now I thought he already was punched in the neck/head area, (??) but then I remembered that was Adam Ghehrke. (Anyone else remember?) So Walter is still in the clear for a swift punch. Although he's sweet and feeds you crap with a smile.
Rebecca is hot..so she's off limits. Rich. Hmm. I got nothing.
I gave up a long time ago (I moved). Here is the scoop: It's cold people. It's dark. The only two weeks of summer are in August. It pretty much always rains on the fourth of July. Once a year a windstorm wipes out the power. The rain is constant and heavy in the fall causing floods. Okay, now you know.. and of course "knowing is half the battle".
As Lewis Black says, "In Latin, meteorologist means 'liar'. "