Can't Miss It: Tuesday

THE SECRETS OF CHANGE: According to this website, Rikki Ducornet is "a being unchained, transcendent as a mythical angel." That's probably placing the po-mo writer and poet on bit of a pedestal, but it's true--at least in the sense that Ducornet is more than a little "out there." She reads from her book of short, surrealist stories, The One Marvelous Thing, at the Elliott Bay Book Co. tonight.

7:30 p.m. // Elliott Bay Book Company // Free

GET LOWE....GET LOW, GET LOW: Get Loweded is Seattle's craziest, most alcoholic variety hour, and the annual holiday bacchanal version goes down at Re-Bar tonight. Headliners (if such an event even has headliners per se) are Reggie Watts, a music comedian and Maktub refugee, and They Live!, the funniest, most entertaining 16-minute piece of hiphop theater we've seen in recent memory. There should be arm wrestling and people in costume, too.

9 p.m. // Re-Bar // $8, $6 if in costume, or a gallon of gas // 21+

SWEET SMUT: The Nutcracker's nice and all, but sometimes you just want a few more dirty jokes and corsets with your traditional Christmas tale about sugar plum fairies and royal mice. Thank the smut gods for Land Of Sweets: The Burlesque Nutcracker, a swing-style "spectacle of ecdysiastic pageantry" targeted towards children 17 and older. Nothing like showing more skin and pumping up the dance moves to breathe new life into a holiday classic, right? Right! Ah-ooga!

7 p.m., 10 p.m. // Triple Door // $25 adv, $28 day of // Early show 17+, late show 21+

BEER AND NUDITY: Naked City Taphouse (85th & Greenwood) is having a "Lazy Boy Brewers" guest spotlight event tonight. There are few things sexier than a man who makes beer, at least to this Seattlest, so come and meet Shawn Loring, who owns Lazy Boy Brewing in Everett. Happy Hour will last all night--mmm, beer--and there will be Lazy Boy "schwag" raffled off as well.

7 p.m. // Naked City Taphouse // Beer Money // 21+