Seahawks (2-5) vs. Cooking (Soft Pretzels)
This fall we are combining our love of the football and our dream of learning to cook by preparing a meal from the city of the Seahawks' opponent.
Because of the election and the World Series, all eyes are on the state of Pennsylvania, which is why we don’t want to do the same old thing
The last two times that the Hawks have faced Philly, both were Lofa Tatupu led victories, and for the Pennsylvania primary we made cheesesteaks.
(Before we reveal this week’s meal, last year we mentioned the Jack In the Box "Soaked up Philly like a sponge" commercial; well, we found it on the YouTube. It’s after the jump).
Luckily, we know of another Philadelphia meal.
Our amazing life story includes four months in college interning for the Philadelphia 76ers. During that time we were amazed that, unlike Seattle, each street corner had a man, and not just any man, a man with cart of food.
You could give this man one dollar, and in return he would give you three giant soft pretzels. Not in curly form, three pretzel loafs on wax paper. We would cover them with mustard, gobble them down, cross the street, and repeat.
European pretzels date back over one thousand years; however, they are all racist and wear Capri pants.
German immigrants brought them over when they were settling in Northern Pennsylvania, which eventually made Philadelphia the capital of American pretzels. In fact, according to culinary expert Dr. Robert Wikipedia, Philly residents eat twelve times the amount of pretzels than real Americans.
At the Sixer offices there were giant barrels of Utz’s pretzels all over the place. The offices were also a mile underground and covered in depressed people.
Quick note to any sports fan looking to get a job in the front office: Don’t. All of the money the team spends goes into those 6-year, 150 million-dollar contracts. That leaves very little for everyone else. Also, if you are twenty years old and you have to spend time in NBA locker rooms, it’s easy to get a complex about, um, certain things.
Sorry, to get back to more pleasant things, if you spend a great deal of time in Philly, you will consume so many pretzels that your stool will start to come out salt-covered.
We'll report back on Tuesday, and if you think you're so fucking great why not try and make the stuff as well. Then we can all compare notes as our fathers stare at us disapprovingly.
