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This fall we are combining our love of the football and our dream of learning to cook by preparing a meal from the city of the Seahawks opponent.
With the Hawks in need of a win, this might be the best week to play the Packers. They are the only American franchise that one can buy shares of, so their fans could be a bit distracted. On to the meal.
We originally found this recipe in January before the Hawks "played" the Packers in what turned from a playoff game to a hilarious situation comedy called 'Marcus Pollard Wants to F-Up Your Happiness.' However, because we were not in Seattle, our roommates made them.
We were alone in Las Vegas and latched on to the group of twenty Seahawk fans; it's a safe bet that the literacy rate of our little posse mirrored Hasselbeck's quarterback rating that day.
If it wasn't bad enough watching the Hawks lose by 22 on three of Caesars 20 by 30 foot TVs, one was switched to USC taking apart the Husky basketball team. Could they not get the rights to our ex-girlfriend's law school graduation for the third screen?
Last year our recipe called for kielbasa, this year we'll be using bratwurst. They key difference is, as any Wisconsintierite will tell you, a kielbasa-induced heart attack at age forty causes you to fall forwards, with a bratwurst attack you drop straight down.
For comedy purposes, we recommend a kielbasa attack onto a cake.
Essentially you boil bratwurst in beer, grill them, slice them open, add cheese, and then grill them some more.
Along with the cheese-filled brats we are going to try and make our first condiment: secret stadium sauce.
The sauce became legendary at Milwaukee's County Stadium, and continues to be one of the most popular features at the Brewer's new Miller Park, much more than the crane drop.
Also brought over from County Stadium was Bernie Brewer.
In olden times every time a Brewer hit a home run, Bernie would slide into a gigantic mug of beer. Of course, since those at Miller Park we're wondering what message the Brewers were sending children, the mug was done away with and Bernie is now just a grown man on a slide.
Ironically, when a grown man slides down a slide in real life, the only explanation is drunkenness (or he has just planned a terrible get-away route).
The sauce's ingredients are easy enough to find, Trader Joe's makes an excellent organic sodium benzoate, and there is this small stand at the market that sells the best tricalcium phosphate, made at a small farm near Carnation.
We're going to research other ways of making the sauce, and probably have to mix ketchup, BBQ sauce, mustard, and sauerkraut water.
Funny, because we just moved out of a house where three years and two Costco cards had produced gallons and gallons of the above mentioned condiments. We had joked about making a giant dip for our final party, and now it looks like we'll actually have to.
Except we'll have to buy everything over again. Ha!
We'll report back on Tuesday, and if you think you're so fucking great why not try and make the stuff as well. Then we can all compare notes as our fathers stare at us disapprovingly.
Recipe for Secret Stadium Sauce.
Photo courtesy of Wisconsin's own James Callan, from our Flickr pool.
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