Turns out getting your degree from an "academic institution" that advertises heavily during Jerry Springer and in between Maury Povich's multiple declarations of "You are not the father" is not so helpful in the real world. Bates Technical College in Tacoma, one such institution, is in the midst of settling a suit brought by former students in the school's civil engineering technician and surveying program. Bates has agreed to pay $500,000 to 16 students who claim their degrees left them "embarrassingly unprepared" for employment.

While holders of B.A.s in English from all around the country may echo this sentiment, students at "As Seen on TV" universities are victims of pyramid schemes disguised in the cloak of academia. None of your English professors promised you better paychecks with your "valuable trade," and if they did, you should get on with that lawsuit! But really folks, if you want to have a career in civil engineering--or, you know, a trade where structural soundness and people's lives may be in your hands--go to a school that doesn't advertise during Judge Judy.