THAT'S FUNNY, BITCHES: Chris Rock is one of those people who can just stand there and we'll laugh. But when he opens his mouth, forget it. We kind of laugh so hard we can't even hear what he's saying half the time, cycling through our various laughs from chuckle to cackle and snort. So you're probably glad we won't be at the Paramount tonight for his show. We'd just distract everything, and he'd probably make fun of us. Which would be funny.
8 p.m. // The Paramount // $45.50-75.50

BACK FROM THE OLYMPICS: We watched the Storm's loverly Sue Bird and the U.S. team smackdown the also loverly Lauren Jackson and her Aussie team last weekend. Already, they're back in Seattle, ready to re-join forces and smackdown the Comets. Okay, so LJ is out due to an ankle issue, but their return is sure to be a celebratory good time. In fact, with the Softball World Series and some sort of Olivia travel group here, too, it's going to be a raucous party of a game, celebrating our gold medal winners. So, they better deliver—no pressure, ladies!
7 p.m. // Key Arena // $10-750
BIG EXCITING SPEECH TIME: In case you hadn't noticed, there's a big gathering going on down in Denver, Colo., where the Democrats are celebrating their superstar, history-making candidate. The guy who's earned all the fanfare, Illinois Senator Barack Obama, will be "officially" accepting the nomination tonight in a giant blowout speech to end all speeches in a huge stadium. There'll probably be, oh, about a trillion people there. But here we are in Seattle watching on TV. You can head out to the Spitfire to watch with other Obamaniacs, if you so desire.
5:30 p.m. // Spitfire Grill Back Room // Free
"The Storm kicking a little ass" courtesy of pony apprehension



as for the speech, no viewing party will beat mine. Its a "bring your favorite elitist food/drink night"
I will be swilling wine.
I cannot stand Sue Bird. Very boring person and player. Displays a lack of emotion all the way around. A decent player though.
Now Lauren Jackson, that's a lovely woman. In all regards. And the best woman's basketball in the work to boot. A joy to watch. She plays with passion.
woops, I should have typed , regarding Lauren Jackson, "the best woman's basketball player in the world".
oh come on, i'll concur about LJ. but sue bird is hardly a boring player. i'm not a basketball expert by any stretch, but she appears to me to be strong on both sides of the court, she sinks plenty of shots, and she's also pretty hot. so that doesn't hurt watching her.