The Hills: Denver

Between the nonstop DNC coverage and last night’s episode of The Hills, we came to a striking conclusion: Bill and Hillary are the Spencer and Heidi of the Democratic Party. See for yourself:

All about the drama? Check.
Constant, shameless self-promotion? Check.
Apt to turn on close friends/family over any perceived betrayal? Check.
Soft spot for boob jobs? Check.

We're sure there’s a handful of people who purchase Heidi’s "music", and there’s still a couple hundred bitter, delusional PUMAs who thinks the DNC should be Hillary’s coronation; Bill needs to quit complaining about his speech topic and Spencer needs to stop comparing himself to Jesus while talking smack about the Olsen twins. This ain’t the Clinton National Convention, just like The Hills ain’t The Spencer and Heidi Variety Hour. So fall into line and catharsisize us already, Hillary, just as long as it doesn’t involve a shitty pop song or a spandex '80s leotard.

Meanwhile, is it just us or is Lo being a total bitch? We’ve never thought much of Audrina or her dumb dead eyes, but Lo’s the one causing trouble there—however, that MTV analogy will have to be saved for next week’s Republican Convention, starring John McCain as Justin Bobby.