August 12, 2008
A Local We're Totes Crushing On
Note: We recently discovered that Seattlest scores a whopping "Junior High Readability Level" on this site. That got us thinking: we really are still 12 years old inside. Therefore, we occasionally sign checks with a sparkly purple gel pen and get violent crushes on characters around town for often-silly reasons. In fact, you might say that we totes crush on locals all the time, but specifically on Mondays from here on out. (Editorial Note: the crush of the week for this seminal week was delayed a day, thanks to Gmail's hours-long crap-out yesterday.)
We totes have a crush on this guy we spotted at the Tattoo Expo. He's lascivious, colorful, and crass; his laugh comes from his belly, and that's reason enough to crush on him. Well....that, and he was talking dirty to every woman in the vicinity. Now, where did we leave our sticker-covered pee-chee?
UPDATE: Introducing Sam Bloomfield!
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that dude should be in beijing this week.
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I don't think the USOC would be thrilled with his -- 69 tattoo on his tongue, the lick pussy-love pussy tattoo on his elbow, or the large pair of boobs behind his ear which said SUCK ME by them -- but he does obviously love America!
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totes?
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Like, totally
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I think the real story here is the pentagram on his thorax, which (as all alumni of the Dan Brown school of questionable symbolism know) is the universal symbol for Venus and goddess worship. Which, upon reading Abbey's comments, leads me to believe this chap likes the ladies.
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Here's a question for the ladies: if this fine fellow were to proposition you for an intimate evening, would you require him to wear additional protection, or would you trust the vertical alignment of the aforementioned pentagram to ward off evil and disease? Your answers may directly influence my own decision regarding tatoos.
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http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20080704/NEWS01/969415335&SearchID=73326652413311
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Sam Bloomfield, everybody! EVT, you are incredibly helpful. Now, I can doodle his name during German class.