Jim Riggleman, Comedy All Star

Two of these Jim Riggleman quotes are real, and one was made up by the Onion. Can you tell which is which?

A: "I'm astonished to tell you the truth when I look up and I see [Jose] Vidro's average is what it is, because I feel like every time he goes up there I'm very confident that he's going to give us a good at-bat...And for the at-bats that he has, he's knocked in quite a few runs ... he's been fairly effective in the way we want to use him."

B: "The guys are really starting to come around. [Yuniesky] Betancourt's got a three-game hitting streak, Jose [Lopez] hit a home run this week, and as long as we avoid getting swept and split a two-game series every once in a while, I think we can take a crack at .400."

C: "You wonder how is it that we're losing all these games."

[Sigh]. Why do we get the feeling that Chuck Armstrong and Howard Lincoln are falling in love with Jim Riggleman?

You can find the answer here.