Only Clever Names for Clever Criminals?

Will the "Bento Bandit" be next? By Flickr User Bento Panda

The local office of the FBI seems to be fresh out of creative names for its criminals. Behold the most recent stories regarding criminals the FBI are looking for locally--the Waddling Bandit and the Candy Man Bandit. The Waddling Bandit apparently has a distinctive gait while Mr. Candy Man robs banks while sucking on lollipops. The names don't exactly inspire a citizen corps to jump into action. Who wants to help catch the Waddling Bandit? Makes you wonder--was the FBI's naming department the victim of recent government cutbacks?

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By Abbey in News on June 4, 2008 4:35 PM

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Abbey

Apparently, the poor naming of bandits is a national issue as well.

The so named "Thong Bandits" surrendered today in Colorado.

mbq

treehouse bankrobber? (sorry for the lack of alliteration, but i appreciate it now that you pointed it out).

i would make a joke here, but i've already had one warning for "conspiracy to commit" delivered to be by a federal agent (albeit off the books). to save them time, my ip address is 24.18.255.63 (this saves *est and *ist from having to roll over on me).

abbey, the fact that they "name" these suspects can be distracting. did i ever see the eyepatch bandit without his eyepatch? and just how generic is the baseball cap bandit (hold on, let me take off this baseball cap)? i guess i need to stop waddling and sucking on lollipops in public now. ms. wig robber, mr. acne? do the names themselves ever help catch the robber? i'm going to guess 'no,' but i'm open to being proven wrong. for now, though, i am going to call in all waddlers and candy-suckers.

Abbey

i like alliteration mbq.

The FBI give these cases catchy names and announce the details to the public in hopes they'll get information from citizens about the crimes and criminals. That's all I meant. I don't condone mobs or vigilante justice or believe something called a citizens corps exist.

mbq

who wants to catch any bandit, except for those qualified to do so (i.e., law enforcement officials).

i'm concerned that you called something named the "citizen corps" into action. does this mean that vigilantism (and accompanying effects) are now sanctioned? you approve of citizens mobilizing as a corps? that there is even a corps of citizens?